A Garden Party in the Temple

    On hospitable thoughts intent
    To me the Inner Temple sent
                An invitation,
    A garden party 'twas to be,
    And I accepted readily
                And with elation;
    Good reason too, but oft the seeds
    Of reason flower in senseless deeds.

    I stood as savage as a bear,
    For not a human being there
                Knew I from Adam
    I heard around in various tones,
    "So glad to see you, Mr. Jones;"
                "Good morning, Madam."
    It seemed so painfully absurd
    To stand and never speak a word.

    I brought my doom upon myself,
    And there I was upon the shelf
                In melancholy.
    Why, say you, did I go at all?
    I once met Chloris at a ball,
                And in my folly
    I went and suffered all this pain
    In hopes to see her once again.

    Of strawberries a pound at least
    I ate, and made myself a beast
                With tea and sherry;
    And raspberries I ate and trembled,
    Until I felt that I resembled
                Myself a berry,
    But 'twas the berry that at school
    We used to call a gooseberry fool.

    The I. C. R. V.[F] band droned on,
    While guests had come and guests had gone
                Since my arrival;
    My brow grew gloomier with despair,
    And on it sat the guilty air
                Of a survival
    Of some remorse for ancient crimes
    Wrought in the pre-historic times.

    My seventh cup of tea was done,
    My seventh glass of wine begun,
                Then of her coming
    I was aware, nor shall forget
    How she and that brown sherry set
                My brains a-humming;
    Well should I be rewarded soon
    For all the weary afternoon.

    Her eyes looked vaguely into mine
    Without as much as half a sign
                Of recognition.
    My heart, my heart! the blow was sore,
    But you have often been before
                In this condition;
    As said the bard of old, those eyes
    Are not my only Paradise.[G]