Charles W. Eliot

And now comes Dr. Eliot stating
That Hell won't bear investigating.
It looks like Charlie's out to bust
The Great Hell-Fire Insurance Trust.

Oliver Herford

Oliver Herford was born in England on December 2, 1860. He was a British-born American writer, artist, and illustrator, often referred to as 'The American Oscar Wilde' for his sharp wit and humorous works. Herford authored and illustrated many books for children and adults, contributing to magazines such as "The Criterion", "Life", and "Punch". He died on July 5, 1935, in France.

Oliver Herford

Ignace Jan Paderewski

Oliver Herford, Simple Poetry

The Sea Serpent

Oliver Herford, Simple Poetry

In Darkest Africa

Oliver Herford, Simple Poetry

A Chameleon.

Oliver Herford, Simple Poetry

English

Suggested Poems

Explore a curated selection of verses that share themes, styles, and emotional resonance with the poem you've just read.

Latter-Day Warnings

When legislators keep the law,
When banks dispense with bolts and looks,
When berries - whortle, rasp, and straw -
Grow bigger downwards through the box, -

When he that selleth house or land
Shows leak in roof or flaw in right, -
When haberdashers choose the stand
Whose window hath the broadest light, -

When preachers tell us all they think,
And party leaders all they mean, -
When what we pay for, that we drink,
From real grape and coffee-bean, -

When lawyers take what they would give,
And doctors give what they would take, -
When city fathers eat to live,
Save when they fast for conscience' sake, -

When one that hath a horse on sale
Shall bring his merit to the proof,
Without a lie for every nail
That holds the iron on t...

Oliver Wendell Holmes

On Two Ministers Of State

Lump says that Caliban's of gutter breed,
And Caliban says Lump's a fool indeed,
And Caliban and Lump and I are all agreed.

Hilaire Belloc

Hell Fire.

One only fire has hell; but yet it shall
Not after one sort there excruciate all:
But look, how each transgressor onward went
Boldly in sin, shall feel more punishment.

Robert Herrick

A Case Of Libel.

        "The greater the truth, the worse the libel."


A certain Sprite, who dwells below,
    ('Twere a libel perhaps to mention where,)
Came up incog. some years ago
    To try for a change the London air.

So well he lookt and drest and talkt,
    And hid his tail and horns so handy,
You'd hardly have known him as he walkt
    From C----e, or any other Dandy.

(His horns, it seems, are made to unscrew;
    So he has but to take them out of the socket,
And--just as some fine husbands do--
    Conveniently clap them into his pocket.)

In short, he lookt extremely natty,
    And even contrived--to his own great wonder--
By dint of sundry scents from Gattie,
    To keep the sulphurous hogo under.

And so my gent...

Thomas Moore

The Respectable Burgher On "The Higher Criticism"

Since Reverend Doctors now declare
That clerks and people must prepare
To doubt if Adam ever were;
To hold the flood a local scare;
To argue, though the stolid stare,
That everything had happened ere
The prophets to its happening sware;
That David was no giant-slayer,
Nor one to call a God-obeyer
In certain details we could spare,
But rather was a debonair
Shrewd bandit, skilled as banjo-player:
That Solomon sang the fleshly Fair,
And gave the Church no thought whate'er;
That Esther with her royal wear,
And Mordecai, the son of Jair,
And Joshua's triumphs, Job's despair,
And Balaam's ass's bitter blare;
Nebuchadnezzar's furnace-flare,
And Daniel and the den affair,
And other stories rich and rare,
Were writ to make old doctrine wear

Thomas Hardy

Epigram On The Conduct Of Some Few Clergymen, Who Are A Disgrace To Their Sacred Profession

Satan, says scripture, like a roaring lion,
Goes about, seeking whom he may devour.
What should a priest, then, chiefly keep his eye on?
To guard his flock against the tempter's power.
Pshaw! what he chiefly looks at is to fleece 'em:
To seize his prey, the tithes, and still increase 'em:
Like a devouring lion is the priest;
Or give the devil his due you'll own, at least,
He has the marks about him of the beast.

    *        *        *        *        *

Why, Sir, so proud to sign your name M.D.?
'It means I'm member of the Faculty.'
Hum! from your practice else one might infer
It meant mock-doctor, or death's minister.

Thomas Oldham