Parody On The Recorder Of Blessington's Address To Queen Anne

Mr. William Crowe, Recorder of Blessington's Address to her Majesty, as copied from the London Gazette.

To the Queen's most Excellent Majesty,

The humble Address of the Sovereign, Recorder, Burgesses, and Freemen, of the Borough of Blessington.

May it please your Majesty, Though we stand almost last on the roll of boroughs of this your majesty's kingdom of Ireland, and therefore, in good manners to our elder brothers, press but late among the joyful crowd about your royal throne: yet we beg leave to assure your majesty, that we come behind none in our good affection to your sacred person and government; insomuch, that the late surprising accounts from Germany have filled us with a joy not inferior to any of our fellow-subjects.

We heard with transport that the English warmed the field to that degree, that thirty squadrons, part of the vanquished enemy, were forced to fly to water, not able to stand their fire, and drank their last draught in the Danube, for the waste they had before committed on its injured banks, thereby putting an end to their master's long-boasted victories: a glorious push indeed, and worthy a general of the Queen of England. And we are not a little pleased, to find several gentlemen in considerable posts of your majesty's army, who drew their first breath in this country, sharing in the good fortune of those who so effectually put in execution the command of your gallant, enterprizing general, whose twin-battles have, with his own title of Marlborough, given immortality to the otherwise perishing names of Schellenberg and Hogstete: actions that speak him born under stars as propitious to England as that he now wears, on both which he has so often reflected lustre, as to have now abundantly repaid the glory they once lent him. Nor can we but congratulate with a joy proportioned to the success of your majesty's fleet, our last campaign at sea, since by it we observe the French obliged to steer their wonted course for security, to their ports; and Gibraltar, the Spaniards' ancient defence, bravely stormed, possessed, and maintained by your majesty's subjects.

May the supplies for reducing the exorbitant power of France be such, as may soon turn your wreaths of laurel into branches of olive: that, after the toils of a just and honourable war, carried on by a confederacy of which your majesty is most truly, as of the faith, styled Defender, we may live to enjoy, under your majesty's auspicious government, the blessings of a profound and lasting peace; a peace beyond the power of him to violate, who, but for his own unreasonable conveniency, destructive always of his neighbours, never yet kept any. And, to complete our happiness, may your majesty again prove to your own family, what you have been so eminently to the true church, a nursing mother. So wish, and so pray, may it please your majesty, your majesty's most dutiful and loyal subjects, and devoted humble servants.

This Address was presented January 17, 1704-5.

Jonathan Swift

Jonathan Swift was an Anglo-Irish satirist, essayist, political pamphleteer, poet and cleric who became Dean of St Patrick's Cathedral, Dublin. Swift is remembered for works such as "A Tale of a Tub" (1704), "An Argument Against Abolishing Christianity" (1712), and "Gulliver's Travels" (1726). Swift originally published all of his works under pseudonyms—such as Lemuel Gulliver, Isaac Bickerstaff, Drapier's Letters as MB Drapier—and works were sometimes attributed to Anonymous.

Jonathan Swift

The Dean's Manner Of Living

Jonathan Swift, Simple Poetry

Probatur Aliter

Jonathan Swift, Simple Poetry

News From Parnassus By Dr. Delany

Jonathan Swift, Simple Poetry

English

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Parody On The Recorder's Speech

TO HIS GRACE THE DUKE OF ORMOND, 4TH JULY, 1711

This city can omit no opportunity of expressing their hearty affection for her majesty's person and government; and their regard for your grace, who has the honour of representing her in this kingdom.

We retain, my lord, a grateful remembrance of the mild and just Administration of the government of this kingdom by your noble ancestors; and, when we consider the share your grace had in the happy Revolution, in 1688, and the many good laws you have procured us since, particularly that for preventing the farther growth of Popery, we are assured that that liberty and property, that happy constitution in church and state, to which we were restored by King William of glorious memory, will be inviolably preserved under your grace's administration. And we are persuaded that we...

Jonathan Swift

Mr. William Crowe's Address To Her Majesty, Turned Into Metre

From a town that consists of a church and a steeple,
With three or four houses, and as many people,
There went an Address in great form and good order,
Composed, as 'tis said, by Will Crowe, their Recorder.[1]
And thus it began to an excellent tune:
Forgive us, good madam, that we did not as soon
As the rest of the cities and towns of this nation
Wish your majesty joy on this glorious occasion.
Not that we're less hearty or loyal than others,
But having a great many sisters and brothers,
Our borough in riches and years far exceeding,
We let them speak first, to show our good breeding.
    We have heard with much transport and great satisfaction
Of the victory obtain'd in the late famous action,
When the field was so warm'd, that it soon grew too hot
For the French ...

Jonathan Swift

Parody On The Speech Of Dr. Benjamin Pratt,[1] Provost Of Trinity College To The Prince Of Wales

Illustrious prince, we're come before ye,
Who, more than in our founders, glory
            To be by you protected;
Deign to descend and give us laws,
For we are converts to your cause,
            From this day well-affected.[2]

The noble view of your high merits
Has charm'd our thoughts and fix'd our spirits,
            With zeal so warm and hearty;
That we resolved to be devoted,
At least until we be promoted,
            By your just power and party.

Urged by a passionate desire
Of being raised a little higher,
            From lazy cloister'd life;
We cannot flatter you nor fawn,
But fain would honour'd be with lawn,
            And settled by a wife.[3]

For this we have before resorted,
Paid levees[4] punctually, and cou...

Jonathan Swift

Ode To King William

ON HIS SUCCESSES IN IRELAND


To purchase kingdoms and to buy renown,
    Are arts peculiar to dissembling France;
You, mighty monarch, nobler actions crown,
    And solid virtue does your name advance.

Your matchless courage with your prudence joins,
    The glorious structure of your fame to raise;
With its own light your dazzling glory shines,
    And into adoration turns our praise.

Had you by dull succession gain'd your crown,
    (Cowards are monarchs by that title made,)
Part of your merit Chance would call her own,
    And half your virtues had been lost in shade.

But now your worth its just reward shall have:
    What trophies and what triumphs are your due!
Who could so well a dying nation save,
    At once deserve a crown...

Jonathan Swift

Ballad

To the tune of "Commons and Peers."

        A wonderful age
        Is now on the stage:
I'll sing you a song, if I can,
        How modern Whigs,
        Dance forty-one jigs,[1]
But God bless our gracious Queen Anne.

        The kirk with applause
        Is established by laws
As the orthodox church of the nation.
        The bishops do own
        It's as good as their own.
And this, Sir, is call'd moderation.

        It's no riddle now
        To let you see how
A church by oppression may speed;
        Nor is't banter or jest,
        That the kirk faith is best
On the other side of the Tweed.

        For no soil can suit
        With every fruit,
Even so, Sir, it is with religion;
        The best ch...

Jonathan Swift

The Famous Speech-Maker Of England

OR BARON (ALIAS BARREN) LOVEL'S CHARGE AT THE ASSIZES AT EXON, APRIL 5, 17IO

Risum teneatis? - HORAT., Ars Poetica, 5.

            From London to Exon,
By special direction,
Came down the world's wonder,
Sir Salathiel Blunder,
With a quoif on his head
As heavy as lead;
And thus opened and said:

Gentlemen of the Grand Inquest,

            Her majesty, mark it,
            Appointed this circuit
            For me and my brother,
            Before any other;
            To execute laws,
            As you may suppose,
    Upon such as offenders have been.
            So then, not to scatter
            More words on the matter,
    We're beginning just now to begin.
But hold - first and foremost, I must enter a...

Jonathan Swift