The Discovery

When wise Lord Berkeley first came here,[1]
    Statesmen and mob expected wonders,
Nor thought to find so great a peer
    Ere a week past committing blunders.
Till on a day cut out by fate,
    When folks came thick to make their court,
Out slipt a mystery of state
    To give the town and country sport.
Now enters Bush[2] with new state airs,
    His lordship's premier minister;
And who in all profound affairs,
    Is held as needful as his clyster.[2]
With head reclining on his shoulder,
    He deals and hears mysterious chat,
While every ignorant beholder
    Asks of his neighbour, who is that?
With this he put up to my lord,
    The courtiers kept their distance due,
He twitch'd his sleeve, and stole a word;
    Then to a corner both withdrew.
Imagine now my lord and Bush
    Whispering in junto most profound,
Like good King Phys and good King Ush,[3]
    While all the rest stood gaping round.
At length a spark, not too well bred,
    Of forward face and ear acute,
Advanced on tiptoe, lean'd his head,
    To overhear the grand dispute;
To learn what Northern kings design,
    Or from Whitehall some new express,
Papists disarm'd, or fall of coin;
    For sure (thought he) it can't be less.
My lord, said Bush, a friend and I,
    Disguised in two old threadbare coats,
Ere morning's dawn, stole out to spy
    How markets went for hay and oats.
With that he draws two handfuls out,
    The one was oats, the other hay;
Puts this to's excellency's snout,
    And begs he would the other weigh.
My lord seems pleased, but still directs
    By all means to bring down the rates;
Then, with a congee circumflex,
    Bush, smiling round on all, retreats.
Our listener stood awhile confused,
    But gathering spirits, wisely ran for't,
Enraged to see the world abused,
    By two such whispering kings of Brentford.[4]