The New Costume Of The Ministers.

        --nova monstra creavit.
        OVID. "Metamorph." 1. i. v. 417.


Having sent off the troops of brave Major Camac,
With a swinging horse-tail at each valorous back.
And such helmets, God bless us! as never deckt any
Male creature before, except Signor Giovanni--
"Let's see," said the Regent (like Titus, perplext
With the duties of empire,) "whom shall I dress next?"

    He looks in the glass--but perfection is there,
Wig, whiskers, and chin-tufts all right to a hair;^[1]
Not a single ex-curl on his forehead he traces--
For curls are like Ministers, strange as the case is,
The falser they are, the more firm in their places.
His coat he next views--but the coat who could doubt?
For his Yarmouth's own Frenchified hand cut it out;
Every pucker and seam were made matters of state,
And a Grand Household Council was held on each plait.

    Then whom shall he dress? shall he new-rig his brother,
Great Cumberland's Duke, with some kickshaw or other?
And kindly invent him more Christianlike shapes
For his feather-bed neckcloths and pillory capes.
Ah! no--here his ardor would meet with delays,
For the Duke had been lately packt up in new Stays,
So complete for the winter, he saw very plain
'Twould be devilish hard work to unpack him again.

    So what's to be done?--there's the Ministers, bless 'em!--
As he made the puppets, why shouldnt he dress 'em?
"An excellent thought!--call the tailors--be nimble--
"Let Cum bring his spy-glass, and Hertford her thimble;
"While Yarmouth shall give us, in spite of all quizzers,
"The last Paris cut with his true Gallic scissors."

    So saying, he calls Castlereagh and the rest
Of his heaven-born statesmen, to come and be drest.
While Yarmouth, with snip-like and brisk expedition,
Cuts up all at once a large Catholic Petition
In long tailors' measures, (the Prince crying "Well-done!")
And first puts in hand my Lord Chancellor Eldon.

Thomas Moore

Thomas Moore was an Irish poet, singer, and songwriter, celebrated for his Irish Melodies, which are now considered a staple of Irish cultural heritage. Born on May 28, 1779, in Dublin, Ireland, Moore gained fame for his lyrical songs, many of which were set to traditional Irish tunes. Not only a poet, but he was also a staunch advocate of Irish nationalism, often incorporating themes of national identity and resistance into his work. Moore's influential collection 'Irish Melodies' became popular in both Ireland and Britain and helped to define the literary output of the era. He passed away on February 25, 1852, but his legacy in Irish literature and music endures.

Thomas Moore

Odes Of Anacreon - Ode XXXIV.

Thomas Moore, Simple Poetry

If In Loving, Singing.

Thomas Moore, Simple Poetry

Thou Lovest No More.

Thomas Moore, Simple Poetry

Ode To Don Miguel.

Thomas Moore, Simple Poetry

English

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Ode To Ferdinand.

Quit the sword, thou King of men,
Grasp the needle once again;
Making petticoats is far
Safer sport than making war;
Trimming is a better thing,
Than the being trimmed, oh King!
Grasp the needle bright with which
Thou didst for the Virgin stitch
Garment, such as ne'er before
Monarch stitched or Virgin wore,
Not for her, oh semster nimble!
Do I now invoke thy thimble;
Not for her thy wanted aid is,
But for certain grave old ladies,
Who now sit in England's cabinet,
Waiting to be clothed in tabinet,
Or whatever choice étoffe is
Fit for Dowagers in office.
First, thy care, oh King, devote
To Dame Eldon's petticoat.
Make it of that silk whose dye
Shifts for ever to the eye,
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Twopenny Post-Bag, Intercepted Letters, Etc. Appendix.

Twopenny Post-Bag, INTERCEPTED LETTERS, ETC. LETTER IV. PAGE 584.


Among the papers, enclosed in Dr. Duigenan's Letter, was found an Heroic Epistle in Latin verse, from Pope Joan to her Lover, of which, as it is rather a curious document, I shall venture to give some account. This female Pontiff was a native of England, (or, according to others of Germany,) who at an early age disguised herself in male attire and followed her lover, a young ecclesiastic, to Athens where she studied with such effect that upon her arrival at Rome she was thought worthy of being raised to the Pontificate. This Epistle is addressed to her Lover (whom she had elevated to the dignity of Cardinal), soon after the fatal accouchement, by which her Fallibility was betrayed.

She begins by reminding him tenderly of the time, when the...

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Twopenny Post-Bag, Intercepted Letters, Etc. Letter II.

FROM COLONEL M'MAHON TO GOULD FRANCIS LECKIE, ESQ.


DEAR SIR--
    I've just had time to look
Into your very learned Book,
Wherein--as plain as man can speak.
Whose English is half modern Greek--
You prove that we can ne'er intrench
Our happy isles against the French,
Till Royalty in England's made
A much more independent trade;--
In short until the House of Guelph
Lays Lords and Commons on the shelf,
And boldly sets up for itself.

    All that can well be understood
In this said Book is vastly good;
And as to what's incomprehensible,
I dare be sworn 'tis full as sensible.

    But to your work's immortal credit
The Prince, good Sir, the Prince has read it
(The only Book, himself remarks,
Which he has read since Mrs. C...

Thomas Moore

New Creation Of Peers. Batch The First.

        "His 'prentice han'
        He tried on man,
        And then he made the lasses."




"And now," quoth the Minister, (eased of his panics,
    And ripe for each pastime the summer affords,)
"Having had our full swing at destroying mechanics,
    "By way of set-off, let us make a few Lords.

"'Tis pleasant--while nothing but mercantile fractures,
    "Some simple, some compound, is dinned in our ears--
"To think that, tho' robbed all coarse manufactures,
    "We still have our fine manufacture of Peers;--

"Those Gotielin productions which Kings take a pride
    "In engrossing the whole fabrication and trade of;
"Choice tapestry things very grand on one side,
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New Grand Exhibition Of Models Of The Two Houses Of Parliament.

Come, step in, gentlefolks, here ye may view
    An exact and natural representation
(Like Siburn's Model of Waterloo^[1])
    Of the Lords and Commons of this here nation.

There they are--all cut out in cork--
    The "Collective Wisdom" wondrous to see;
My eyes! when all them heads are at work,
    What a vastly weighty consarn it must be.

As for the "wisdom,"--that may come anon;
    Tho', to say truth, we sometimes see
(And I find the phenomenon no uncommon 'un)
    A man who's M.P. with a head that's M.T.

Our Lords are rather too small, 'tis true;
    But they do well enough for Cabinet shelves;
And, besides,--what's a man with creeturs to do
    That make such werry small figures themselves?

T...

Thomas Moore

Twopenny Post-Bag, Intercepted Letters, Etc. Letter VIII.

FROM COLONEL THOMAS TO ---- SKEFFINGTON, ESQ.


Come to our Fête and bring with thee
Thy newest, best embroidery.
Come to our Fête and show again
That pea-green coat, thou pink of men,
Which charmed all eyes that last surveyed it;
When Brummel's self inquired "who made it?"--
When Cits came wondering from the East
And thought thee Poet Pye at least!

    Oh! come, (if haply 'tis thy week
For looking pale,) with paly cheek;
Tho' more we love thy roseate days,
When the rich rouge-pot pours its blaze
Full o'er thy face and amply spread,
Tips even thy whisker-tops with red--
Like the last tints of dying Day
That o'er some darkling grove delay.

    Bring thy best lace, thou gay Philander,
(That lace, like Harry Alexander,
...

Thomas Moore