The Whole Duty of Kittens

When Human Folk at Table eat,
    A Kitten must not mew for meat,
Or jump to grab it from the Dish,
    (Unless it happens to be fish).

Oliver Herford

Oliver Herford was born in England on December 2, 1860. He was a British-born American writer, artist, and illustrator, often referred to as 'The American Oscar Wilde' for his sharp wit and humorous works. Herford authored and illustrated many books for children and adults, contributing to magazines such as "The Criterion", "Life", and "Punch". He died on July 5, 1935, in France.

Oliver Herford

The Puncture

Oliver Herford, Simple Poetry

The Milk Jug

Oliver Herford, Simple Poetry

Dante

Oliver Herford, Simple Poetry

The Outing

Oliver Herford, Simple Poetry

Pidgin

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Education

When People think that Kittens play,
    It's really quite the other way.
For when they chase the Ball or Bobbin
    They learn to catch a Mouse or Robin.

The Kitten, deaf to Duty's call,
    Who will not chase the bounding ball,
A hungry Cathood will enjoy,
    The scorn of Mouse and Bird and Boy.

Oliver Herford

Good and Bad Kittens

Kittens, you are very little,
    And your kitten bones are brittle,
If you'd grow to Cats respected,
    See your play be not neglected.

Smite the Sudden Spool, and spring
    Upon the Swift Elusive String,
Thus you learn to catch the wary
    Mister Mouse or Miss Canary.

That is how in Foreign Places
    Fluffy Cubs with Kitten faces,
Where the mango waves sedately,
    Grow to Lions large and stately.

But the Kittencats who snatch
    Rudely for their food, or scratch,
Grow to Tomcats gaunt and gory,--
    Theirs is quite another story.

Cats like these are put away
    By the dread S. P. C. A.,
Or to trusting Aunts and Sisters
    Sold as Sable Muffs and Wristers.

Oliver Herford

Foreign Kittens

Kittens large and Kittens small,
Prowling on the Back Yard Wall,
Though your fur be rough and few,
I should like to play with you.
Though you roam the dangerous street,
And have curious things to eat,
Though you sleep in barn or loft,
With no cushions warm and soft,
Though you have to stay out-doors
When it's cold or when it pours,
Though your fur is all askew--
How I'd like to play with you!

Oliver Herford

A Kitten's Fancy

The Kitten mews outside the Door,
    The Cat-bird in the Tree,
The Sea-mew mews upon the Shore,
    The Catfish in the Sea.

The Emu with his feathers queer
    Is mewing in the Zoo.
Why is it that I never hear
    A Pussy-willow mew?

Oliver Herford

Kitten's Night Thought

When Human Folk put out the light,
    And think they've made it dark as night,
A Pussy Cat sees every bit
    As well as when the lights are lit.

When Human Folk have gone upstairs,
    And shed their skins and said their prayers,
And there is no one to annoy,
    Then Pussy may her life enjoy.

No Human hands to pinch or slap,
    Or rub her fur against the nap,
Or throw cold water from a pail,
    Or make a handle of her tail.

And so you will not think it wrong
    When she can play the whole night long,
With no one to disturb her play,
    That Pussy goes to bed by day.

Oliver Herford

Facilis Ascensus

Up into the Cherry Tree,
    Who should climb but little me,
With both my Paws I hold on tight,
    And look upon a pleasant sight.

There are the Gardens far away,
    Where little Foreign Kittens play,
And those queer specks of black and brown
    Are naughty cats that live in Town.

And there among the tulips red,
    Where I may never lay my head,
I see the Cruel Gardener hoe
    The baby weeds that may not grow.

Now I climb down--"Oh dear,"--I mew,
    "Which end goes first--what shall I do?
Oh, good Kind Gardener, big and brown,
    Please come and help this Kitten down."

Oliver Herford