To A Gentleman Who Had Sent Him A Newspaper, And Offered To Continue It Free Of Expense.

    Kind Sir, I've read your paper through,
    And, faith, to me 'twas really new!
    How guess'd ye, Sir, what maist I wanted?
    This mony a day I've grain'd and gaunted,
    To ken what French mischief was brewin';
    Or what the drumlie Dutch were doin';
    That vile doup-skelper, Emperor Joseph,
    If Venus yet had got his nose off;
    Or how the collieshangie works
    Atween the Russians and the Turks:
    Or if the Swede, before he halt,
    Would play anither Charles the Twalt:
    If Denmark, any body spak o't;
    Or Poland, wha had now the tack o't;
    How cut-throat Prussian blades were hingin';
    How libbet Italy was singin';
    If Spaniard, Portuguese, or Swiss
    Were sayin' or takin' aught amiss:
    Or how our merry lads at hame,
    In Britain's court kept up the game:
    How royal George, the Lord leuk o'er him!
    Was managing St. Stephen's quorum;
    If sleekit Chatham Will was livin';
    Or glaikit Charlie got his nieve in:
    How daddie Burke the plea was cookin',
    If Warren Hastings' neck was yeukin;
    How cesses, stents, and fees were rax'd,
    Or if bare a--s yet were tax'd;
    The news o' princes, dukes, and earls,
    Pimps, sharpers, bawds, and opera girls;
    If that daft buckie, Geordie Wales,
    Was threshin' still at hizzies' tails;
    Or if he was grown oughtlins douser,
    And no a perfect kintra cooser.
    A' this and mair I never heard of;
    And but for you I might despair'd of.
    So, gratefu', back your news I send you,
    And pray, a' guid things may attend you!

Ellisland, Monday morning, 1790.