To John Goudie Of Kilmarnock. - On The Publication Of His Essays

    O Goudie! terror of the Whigs,
    Dread of black coats and rev'rend wigs,
    Sour Bigotry, on her last legs,
        Girnin', looks back,
    Wishin' the ten Egyptian plagues
        Wad seize you quick.

    Poor gapin', glowrin' Superstition,
    Waes me! she's in a sad condition:
    Fie! bring Black Jock, her state physician,
        To see her water:
    Alas! there's ground o' great suspicion
        She'll ne'er get better.

    Auld Orthodoxy lang did grapple,
    But now she's got an unco ripple;
    Haste, gie her name up i' the chapel,
        Nigh unto death;
    See, how she fetches at the thrapple,
        An' gasps for breath.

    Enthusiasm's past redemption,
    Gaen in a gallopin' consumption,
    Not a' the quacks, wi' a' their gumption,
        Will ever mend her.
    Her feeble pulse gies strong presumption
        Death soon will end her.

    'Tis you and Taylor[1] are the chief,
    Wha are to blame for this mischief,
    But gin the Lord's ain focks gat leave,
        A toom tar-barrel,
    An' twa red peats wad send relief,
        An' end the quarrel.