When Ida Puts Her Armor On

The Cowboy had a sterling heart,
The Maiden was from Boston,
The Rancher saw his wealth depart
The Steers were what he lost on.

The Villain was a bankers limb,
His spats and cane were nifty;
The Maiden needs must marry him
Her father was not thrifty.

The Sheepmen were as foul as pitch,
The Cowboy was a hero,
The gold mine made the hero rich,
The Villains score was zero.

The Sheepmen tried to steal the maid,
The Villain sought the attic,
The Hero fifteen bad men slayed
With his blue automatic.

The Hero kissed the willing lass,
The final scene was snappy;
The Villain went to Boston, Mass.,
And everyone was happy.

Ellis Parker Butler

Ellis Parker Butler was an American author, humorist, and poet, best known for his short story 'Pigs Is Pigs.' Born on December 5, 1869, in Muscatine, Iowa, Butler became a prolific writer, contributing to numerous magazines and books over his career. He is remembered for his wit and humor, which marked his work. Butler passed away on September 13, 1937.

Ellis Parker Butler

A Scotchman Whose Name Was Isbister

Ellis Parker Butler, Simple Poetry

Circumstantial Evidence

Ellis Parker Butler, Simple Poetry

Speaking Of Operations

Ellis Parker Butler, Simple Poetry

To May

Ellis Parker Butler, Simple Poetry

English

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Song For Heroes

Captain OHare was a mariner brave;
He refused to abandon his ship;
A hero, he sleeps in a watery grave,
And his widow is now Mrs. Bipp,
Haw! Haw!
His widow is now Mrs. Bipp!

Henri Dupont was a fearless young ace;
Five thousand feet up he was hit;
Each year on his grave pretty flowers we place,
And his widow is now Mrs. Schmitt,
Haw! Haw!
His widow is now Mrs. Schmitt!

Corporal Dunn was a volunteer bold;
He plunged in the deadliest fray;
A bayonet thrust laid him out stony cold,
And his widow is now Mrs. Gray,
Haw! Haw!
His widow is now Mrs. Gray!

But Peter McGuck was a cowardly sneak,
Like a hound he remained home in fear;
When fishing one day he fell into the creek,
And his widow is now Mrs. Greer,
Haw! Haw! Ha...

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The Colonel.

The Colonel!--Such a creature!
    I met him at the ball!--
So fair in form and feature,
    And so divinely tall!
He praised my dimpled cheeks and curls,
    While whirling through the dance,
And matched me with the dark-eyed girls
    Of Italy and France!

He said, in accents thrilling--
    "Love's boundless as the sea;
And I, dear maid, am willing
    To give up all for thee!"
I heard him--blushed--"Would ask mamma"--
    And then my eyes grew dim!
He looked--I said, "Mamma--papa--
    I'd give up all for him!"

My governor is rich and old;
    This well the Colonel knew.
"Love's wings," he said, "when fringed with gold,
    Are beautiful to view!"
I thought his 'havior quite the ton,
    Until I saw him stare
When m...

George Pope Morris

The Cowboy.

There was a bold cowboy
    Came out of the west;
Of all the bold riders,
    This cowboy's the best.

The horse he brought with him
    Will not run away;
But stands by the side of
    His master all day.

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The Idyl of Battle Hollow

No, I wont, thar, now, so! And it aint nothin, no!
And thars nary to tell that you folks yer dont know;
And its Belle, tell us, do! and its Belle, is it true?
And Wots this yer yarn of the Major and you?
Till Im sick of it all, so I am, but I spose
Thet is nothin to you. . . . Well, then, listen! yer goes!

It was after the fight, and around us all night
Thar was poppin and shootin a powerful sight;
And the niggers had fled, and Aunt Chlo was abed,
And Pinky and Milly were hid in the shed:
And I ran out at daybreak, and nothin was nigh
But the growlin of cannon low down in the sky.

And I saw not a thing, as I ran to the spring,
But a splintered fence rail and a broken-down swing,
And a bird said Kerchee! as it sat on a tree,
As if ...

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The Landlord's Tale - The Wayside Inn - Part Third

THE RHYME OF SIR CHRISTOPHER

It was Sir Christopher Gardiner,
Knight of the Holy Sepulchre,
From Merry England over the sea,
Who stepped upon this continent
As if his august presence lent
A glory to the colony.

You should have seen him in the street
Of the little Boston of Winthrop's time,
His rapier dangling at his feet
Doublet and hose and boots complete,
Prince Rupert hat with ostrich plume,
Gloves that exhaled a faint perfume,
Luxuriant curls and air sublime,
And superior manners now obsolete!

He had a way of saying things
That made one think of courts and kings,
And lords and ladies of high degree;
So that not having been at court
Seemed something very little short
Of treason or lese-majesty,
Such an accomplished...

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Buxom Joan

A soldier and a sailor,
A tinker and a tailor,
Had once a doubtful strife, sir,
To make a maid a wife, sir,
    Whose name was Buxom Joan.
For now the time was ended,
When she no more intended
To lick her lips at men, sir,
And gnaw the sheets in vain, sir,
    And lie o' nights alone.

The soldier swore like thunder,
He loved her more than plunder;
And showed her many a scar, sir,
That he had brought from far, sir,
    With fighting for her sake.
The tailor thought to please her,
With offering her his measure.
The tinker too with mettle,
Said he could mend her kettle,
    And stop up every leak.

But while these three were prating,
The sailor slily waiting,
Thought if it came about, sir,
That they should all fall ou...

William Congreve