A. Hoatson

Jim was a boy who was fond of clowns,
    And thought they were excellent fun;
He talked so much of them and their ways,
    That one night he dreamed he was one.

He dreamed he was feeding five fat geese
    On boiled slate-pencils and rice:
He said it was wholesome food for geese,
    But they said, "More wholesome than nice."


He dreamed that he set two geese to dance,
    While he took a fiddle and played.
He said, "You look pretty and gay, my dears."
    "We feel very tired," they said.

"What, tired!" he said, "with that nice pink sash,
    "And that waistcoat of vivid blue?"
Then he tried to teach them the way to sing--
    A thing geese never can do.


He made them try to stand on their heads
    And wave their feet ...

Has anyone heard of the wonderful race
    Of the frogs and the greyhounds, the rabbits and cats?
They rode it on bicycles, sixteen in all,
    And the umpires were pugs, with cigars and high hats.

And the number of each kind of racer was four--
    Four frogs dressed in green, four rabbits in brown,
Four greyhounds well brushed and with spotless shirt-fronts,
    Four pussies with tails hanging gracefully down.


The four solemn puggies inspected them all
    And weighed them as gravely as if they were dead.
"The rabbits must carry the dinners for all;
    It's a fair handicap, as they're quickest," they said.

(I've heard that the rabbits were angry at this;
    And I think that it's true, for they never were seen
Any more by the umpires, although...