Edward James Mortimer Collins

Edward James Mortimer Collins was an English novelist, journalist, and poet. He was known for his witty and humorous writings. After various early ventures, including a brief attempt to join the clergy, Collins turned to writing. He contributed to several periodicals and newspapers. Despite an erratic life, his works were well-received for their charm and wit. He is remembered for his light verse and his novels that often satirized society.

June 29, 1827

July 28, 1876

English

Ad Chloen, M.A., Fresh From Her Cambridge Examination

Lady, very fair are you,
And your eyes are very blue,
    And your hose;
And your brow is like the snow,
And the various things you know,
    Goodness knows.

And the rose-flush on your cheek,
And your Algebra and Greek
    Perfect are;
And that loving lustrous eye
Recognizes in the sky
    Every star.

You have pouting piquant lips,
You can doubtless an eclipse
    Calculate;
But for your cerulean hue,
I had certainly from you
    Met my fate.

If by some arrangement dual
I were Adams mixed with Whewell,
    Then some day
I, as wooer, perhaps might come
To so sweet an Artium
    Magistra.

Edward James Mortimer Collins

Chloe, M.A., Ad Amantem Suam

Careless rhymer, it is true,
That my favourite colour's blue:
    But am I
To be made a victim, sir,
If to puddings I prefer
    Cambridge [pi]?

If with giddier girls I play
Croquet through the summer day
    On the turf,
Then at night ('tis no great boon)
Let me study how the moon
    Sways the surf.

Tennyson's idyllic verse
Surely suits me none the worse
    If I seek
Old Sicilian birds and bees,
Music of sweet Sophocles,
    Golden Greek.

You have said my eyes are blue;
There may be a fairer hue,
    Perhaps, and yet
It is surely not a sin
If I keep my secrets in
    Violet.

Edward James Mortimer Collins