John Godfrey Saxe I

My dear young friend, whose shining wit
    Sets all the room a-blaze,
Don't think yourself a "happy dog,"
    For all your merry ways;
But learn to wear a sober phiz,
    Be stupid, if you can,
It's such a very serious thing
    To be a funny man!

You're at an evening party, with
    A group of pleasant folks, -
You venture quietly to crack
    The least of little jokes, -
A lady doesn't catch the point,
    And begs you to explain -
Alas for one that drops a jest
    And takes it up again!

You're talking deep philosophy
    With very special force,
To edify a clergyman
    With suitable discourse, -
You think you've got him - when he calls
    A friend across the way,
And begs you'll say that funny thing
    You...

"God bless the man who first invented sleep!"
    So Sancho Panza said, and so say I:
And bless him, also, that he didn't keep
    His great discovery to himself; nor try
To make it - as the lucky fellow might -
A close monopoly by patent-right!

Yes - bless the man who first invented sleep,
    (I really can't avoid the iteration;)
But blast the man, with curses loud and deep,
    Whate'er the rascal's name, or age, or station,
Who first invented, and went round advising,
That artificial cut-off - Early Rising!

"Rise with the lark, and with the lark to bed,"
    Observes some solemn, sentimental owl;
Maxims like these are very cheaply said;
    But, ere you make yourself a fool or fowl,
Pray just inquire about his rise and fall,
And whether la...