A Slander.

"Shake hands, shake hands my little girl,"
    Said Mister Crab to Nell,
"I'm very glad to meet you dear,
    I hope you are quite well.
I think it's very hot to-day,
    I feel it in my shell."

"I can't shake hands with you," said Nell,
    "It isn't thought polite,
Without an introduction;
    Besides, no doubt it's spite,
It mayn't be true, but still they do,
    They do say that you - BITE."

Lizzie Lawson

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Lizzie Lawson

Hie For Christmas!

Lizzie Lawson, Simple Poetry

Christmas Roses

Lizzie Lawson, Simple Poetry

The Crew Of The Nancy Lee.

Lizzie Lawson, Simple Poetry

Hopes And Fears.

Lizzie Lawson, Simple Poetry

English

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A Mistake.

"MY dears, whatever are you at?
    You ought to be at home;
I told you not to wet your feet -
    I told you not to roam.

"Oh, dear! I'm sure you will be drowned!
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Come home at once, and go to bed,
    You naughty naughty chicks."

Now most of them were five days old,
    But one, whose age was six -
"Please, ma'am," said he, "I think we're ducks;
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Lizzie Lawson

Tu Quoque, An Idyll In The Conservatory

                    nellie
If I were you, when ladies at the play, Sir,
    Beckon and nod, a melodrama through,
I would not turn abstractedly away, Sir,
    If I were you!

                    frank
If I were you, when persons I affected,
    Wait for three hours to take me down to Kew,
I would at least pretend I recollected,
    If I were you!

                    nellie
If I were you, when ladies are so lavish,
    Sir, as to keep me every waltz but two,
I would not dance with odious Miss M'Tavish,
    If I were you!

                    frank
If I were you, who vow you cannot suffer
    Whiff of the best, the mildest "honey dew,"
I would not dance with smoke-consuming Puffer,
    If I were yo...

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The Fudge Family In Paris Letter XII. From Miss Biddy Fudge To Miss Dorothy ----.

At last, DOLLY,--thanks to potent emetic,
Which BOBBY and Pa, grimace sympathetic,
Have swallowed this morning, to balance the bliss,
Of an eel matelote and a bisque d'écrevisses--
I've a morning at home to myself, and sit down
To describe you our heavenly trip out of town.
How agog you must be for this letter, my dear!
Lady JANE, in the novel, less languisht to hear,
If that elegant cornet she met at Lord NEVILLE'S
Was actually dying with love or--blue devils.
But Love, DOLLY, Love is the theme I pursue;
With Blue Devils, thank heaven, I have nothing to do--
Except, indeed, dear Colonel CALICOT spies
Any imps of that color in certain blue eyes,
Which he stares at till I, DOLL, at his do the same;
Then he simpers--I blush--...

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Marriage A LÀ Mode. A Trilogy.

        I.
        LOVE'S YOUNG DREAM. A.D. 1880.


        "Thank you much obliged, old boy,
            Yes, it's so; report says true.
        I'm engaged to Nell Latine
            What else could a fellow do?
        Governor was getting fierce;
            Asked me, with paternal frown,
        When I meant to go to work,
            Take a wife, and settle down.
        Stormed at my extravagance,
            Talked of cutting off supplies
        Fairly bullied me, you know
            Sort of thing that I despise.
        Well, you see, I lost worst way
            At the races Governor raged
        So, to try and smooth him down,
            I went off, and got engaged.
        Sort of put-up job, you know
            All ar...

George Augustus Baker, Jr.

Scandal

She hastens out and scarcely pins her clothes
To hear the news and tell the news she knows;
She talks of sluts, marks each unmended gown,
Her self the dirtiest slut in all the town.
She stands with eager haste at slander's tale,
And drinks the news as drunkards drink their ale.
Excuse is ready at the biggest lie--
She only heard it and it passes bye.
The very cat looks up and knows her face
And hastens to the chair to get the place;
When once set down she never goes away,
Till tales are done and talk has nought to say.
She goes from house to house the village oer,
Her slander bothers everybody's door.

John Clare

Miss Edith Makes Another Friend

Oh, youre the girl lives on the corner? Come in if you want to come quick!
Theres no one but me in the house, and the cook but shes only a stick.
Dont try the front way, but come over the fence through the window thats how.
Dont mind the big dog he wont bite you just see him obey me! there, now!

Whats your name? Mary Ellen? How funny! Mines Edith its nicer, you see;
But yours does for you, for youre plainer, though maybe youre gooder than me;
For Jack says Im sometimes a devil, but Jack, of all folks, neednt talk,
For I dont call the seamstress an angel till Ma says the poor thing must walk.

Come in! Its quite dark in the parlor, for sister will keep the blinds down,
For you know her complexion is sallow like yours, but she isnt as brown;
Though Jack says tha...

Bret Harte