Ballade Of The Golfer In Love

In the "foursome" some would fain
    Find nepenthe for their woe;
Following through shine or rain
    Where the "greens" like satin show;
    But I vote such sport as "slow"
Find it rather glum and gruesome;
    With a little maid I know
I would play a quiet "twosome"!

In the "threesome," some maintain,
    Lies excitement's gayest glow,
Strife that mounts unto the brain
    Like the sparkling Veuve Clicquot;
    My opinion? Nay, not so!
Noon or eve or morning dewsome
    With a little maid I know
I would play a quiet "twosome"!

Bays of glory some would gain
    With grim "Bogey" for their foe;
(He's a bogey who's not slain
    Save one smite with canny blow!)
    Yet I hold this tame, and though
My refrain seems trite, 'tis truesome;
    With a little maid I know
I would play a quiet "twosome"!

                    envoy

    Comrades all who golfing go,
Happiness, if you would view some,
    With a little maid you know,
Haste and play a quiet "twosome"!

Clinton Scollard

Clinton Scollard was an American poet and professor born on September 18, 1860, in Clinton, New York. He graduated from Hamilton College and later became a professor of English at the same institution. Scollard was a prolific poet who wrote in various forms and genres, often exploring themes of nature, history, and legend. He collaborated with other poets and contributed to many periodicals of his time. Clinton Scollard passed away on November 19, 1932.

Clinton Scollard

Noureddin, The Son Of The Shah

Clinton Scollard, Simple Poetry

English

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Years, years ago, ere yet my dreams
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Ere I had done with writing themes,
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Years, years ago, while all my joy
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In short, while I was yet a boy,
    I fell in love with Laura Lily.

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She was our queen, our rose, our star;
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Dark was her hair, her hand was white;
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The City Of Golf

Would you like to see a city given over,
    Soul and body, to a tyrannising game?
If you would, there's little need to be a rover,
    For St. Andrews is the abject city's name.

It is surely quite superfluous to mention,
    To a person who has been here half an hour,
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    Of the people, with an all-absorbing power.

Rich and poor alike are smitten with the fever;
    Their business and religion is to play;
And a man is scarcely deemed a true believer,
    Unless he goes at least a round a day.

The city boasts an old and learned college,
    Where you'd think the leading industry was Greek;
Even there the favoured instruments of knowledge
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Solitude In September.

    O BEATA SOLITUDO; O SOLA BEATITUDO.

    (Inscription in the Grounds of Burg Birseck, near Basel.)


    Sweet Solitude where dost thou linger?
        When and where shall I look in thy face?
    Feel the soft magic touch of thy finger,
        The glow of thy silent embrace?
    Stern Civilization has banished
        Thy charms to a region unknown;
    The spell of thy beauty has vanished -
        Sweet Solitude, where hast thou flown?

    I have sought thee on pampas and prairie,
        By blue lake and bluer crevasse,
    On shores that are arid and airy,
        Lone peak, and precipitous pass.
    I have sought thee, sweet Solitude, ever
        Regardless of peril and pain;
    But in spite of my utmost endeavour
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My Jolly Friend's Secret

Ah, friend of mine, how goes it
    Since you've taken you a mate? -
Your smile, though, plainly shows it
    Is a very happy state!
Dan Cupid's necromancy!
    You must sit you down and dine,
And lubricate your fancy
    With a glass or two of wine.

And as you have "deserted,"
    As my other chums have done,
While I laugh alone diverted,
    As you drop off one by one - -
And I've remained unwedded,
    Till - you see - look here - that I'm,
In a manner, "snatched bald-headed"
    By the sportive hand of Time!

I'm an "old 'un!" yes, but wrinkles
    Are not so plenty, quite,
As to cover up the twinkles
    Of the boy - ain't I right?
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Little Oliver

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Whom nothing ever could put out,
Though eighty-two, he still was hearty,
Excepting as regarded gout.

He had one unexampled daughter,
The LADY MINNIE-HAHA JOYCE,
Fair MINNIE-HAHA, "Laughing Water,"
So called from her melodious voice.

By Nature planned for lover-capture,
Her beauty every heart assailed;
The good old nobleman with rapture
Observed how widely she prevailed

Aloof from all the lordly flockings
Of titled swells who worshipped her,
There stood, in pumps and cotton stockings,
One humble lover OLIVER.

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His name recalled no bygone age;
He was no lordling coronetted
Alas! he was a simple page!

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Tu Quoque, An Idyll In The Conservatory

                    nellie
If I were you, when ladies at the play, Sir,
    Beckon and nod, a melodrama through,
I would not turn abstractedly away, Sir,
    If I were you!

                    frank
If I were you, when persons I affected,
    Wait for three hours to take me down to Kew,
I would at least pretend I recollected,
    If I were you!

                    nellie
If I were you, when ladies are so lavish,
    Sir, as to keep me every waltz but two,
I would not dance with odious Miss M'Tavish,
    If I were you!

                    frank
If I were you, who vow you cannot suffer
    Whiff of the best, the mildest "honey dew,"
I would not dance with smoke-consuming Puffer,
    If I were yo...

Henry Austin Dobson