Cosmopolitan Woman, A

She went round and asked subscriptions
For the heathen black Egyptians
And the Terra del Fuegians,
        She did;
For the tribes round Athabasca,
And the men of Madagascar,
And the poor souls of Alaska,
        So she did;
She longed, she said, to buy
Jelly, cake, and jam, and pie,
For the Anthropophagi,
        So she did.

Her heart ached for the Australians
And the Borriobooli-Ghalians,
And the poor dear Amahagger,
        Yes, it did;
And she loved the black Numidian,
And the ebon Abyssinian,
And the charcoal-coloured Guinean,
        Oh, she did!
And she said she'd cross the seas
With a ship of bread and cheese
For those starving Chimpanzees,
        So she did.

How she loved the cold Norwegian
And the poor half-melted Feejeean,
And the dear Molucca Islander,
        She did:
She sent tins of red tomato
To the tribes beyond the Equator,
But her husband ate potato,
        So he did;
The poor helpless, homeless thing
(My voice falters as I sing)
Tied his clothes up with a string,
        Yes, he did.