Crabbed.

A college professor one day
    Was fishing in Chesapeake Bay;
Said a crab to his mate,
    "Let's kick off the bait,
This business is too old to pay."

Edwin C. Ranck

Edwin C. Ranck was an American lyricist noted for his work in the early 20th century. He was a prolific writer and his lyrics were often characterized by their humor and wit. One of his standout works is the poem 'The Optimist', which reflects his positive outlook on life. Beyond that, little is known about his personal life or career. He remains a somewhat obscure figure in literary history.

Edwin C. Ranck

You Couldn't Hardly Notice It At All.

Edwin C. Ranck, Simple Poetry

A Wonderful Feat.

Edwin C. Ranck, Simple Poetry

Nocturne.

Edwin C. Ranck, Simple Poetry

Vitascope Pictures.

Edwin C. Ranck, Simple Poetry

English

Suggested Poems

Explore a curated selection of verses that share themes, styles, and emotional resonance with the poem you've just read.

The Lobster.

Lobsters haven't any feet,
    But they have lots of claws;
Yet lobster meat is good to eat,
    And this is strange, because--
A dog is never good to eat,
    And yet a dog has paws,
And so have cats, and so have rats
    And so have other kind of brats.

A lobster then, so to speak,
    Is, my child, an awful freak;
For if you get him in a stew,
    He'll blush quite red and glare at you.
Yet if you eat much lobster salad,
    It will make you very pallid.

Edwin C. Ranck

A New Version.

Old Mother Hubbard
    She went to the cupboard,
To find a nice bone for her dog.
    But when she got there
The cupboard was bare,
    And now they are both on the hog.

Edwin C. Ranck

To Poe.

You lived in a land horror-haunted,
    And wrote with a pen half-divine;
You drank bitter sorrow, undaunted
    And cast precious pearls before swine.

Edwin C. Ranck

A Pun From The Deep.

A funny thing once happened to a German from Berlin,
    For once he got too gay and seized a swordfish by the fin,
This made the big fish angry, and he sawed the German's chin.
    "Just Tell Them That I Saw You" said the swordfish with a grin.

Edwin C. Ranck

A Parody.

On old Long Island's sea-girt shore
    We caught a cod the other day;
He never had been there before,
    And wished that he had stayed away.
We laid him on the beach to dry,
    Then served him frizzled on a dish,
A warning to the smaller fry,
    As well as all the larger fish.
                    O--o--o--o--o!
On old Long Island's sea-girt shore
    We caught a cod the other day;
He never had been there before,
    And wished that he had stayed away.

Oh, 'twas a scaly thing to haul
    This tom-cod from his native spray,
And thus to frighten, one and all,
    The finny tribe from Rockaway!
They shun the fisher's hook and line,
    And never venture near his net,
So, when at Rockaway you dine,
    Now not a thing but clams you get...

George Pope Morris

Genius.

There was once a young man quite erratic
    Who lived all alone in an attic,
He wrote magazine verse
    That made editors curse,
But his friends thought it fine and dramatic.

Edwin C. Ranck