Ermine

Said an envious, erudite ermine:
"There's one thing I cannot determine:
    When a man wears my coat,
    He's a person of note,
While I'm but a species of vermin!"

Unknown

The identity of this poet is not known. Their works, which are often of significant historical or cultural value, have been attributed to 'Unknown'. This designation is commonly used when the creator of works, ranging from ancient texts to more modern writings, remains anonymous or uncredited. Despite the lack of personal details, the impact and importance of these works endure, offering insight into the eras and cultures from which they originated.

Unknown

Nursery Rhyme. LI. Tales.

Unknown , Simple Poetry

Epitaphs

Unknown , Simple Poetry

Nursery Rhyme. DCLIX. Relics.

Unknown , Simple Poetry

Nursery Rhyme. DLXXIII. Natural History.

Unknown , Simple Poetry

English

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Nursery Rhyme. XLIV. Literal

    A for the ape, that we saw at the fair;
    B for a blockhead, who ne'er shall go there;
    C for a collyflower, white as a curd;
    D for a duck, a very good bird;
    E for an egg, good in pudding or pies;
    F for a farmer, rich, honest, and wise;
    G for a gentleman, void of all care;
    H for the hound, that ran down the hare;
    I for an Indian, sooty and dark;
    K for the keeper, that look'd to the park;
    L for a lark, that soar'd in the air;
    M for a mole, that ne'er could get there;
    N for Sir Nobody, ever in fault;
    O for an otter, that ne'er could be caught;
    P for a pudding, stuck full of plums;
    Q was for quartering it, see here he comes;
    R for a rook, that croak'd in the trees;
    S for a sailor, that plou...

Unknown

The Virtuoso

Whilom by silver Thames's gentle stream,
In London town there dwelt a subtile wight;
A wight of mickle wealth, and mickle fame,
Book-learn'd and quaint: a Virtuoso hight.
Uncommon things, and rare, were his delight;
From musings deep his brain ne'er gotten ease,
Nor ceased he from study, day or night;
Until (advancing onward by degrees)
He knew whatever breeds on earth, or air, or seas.
He many a creature did anatomize,
Almost unpeopling water, air, and land;
Beasts, fishes, birds, snails, caterpillars, flies,
Were laid full low by his relentless hand,
That oft with gory crimson was distain'd:
He many a dog destroy'd, and many a cat;
Of fleas his bed, of frogs the marshes drain'd,
Could tellen if a mite were lean or fat,
And read a lecture o'er the entrai...

Mark Akenside

Epigram. Auri Sacra Fames.

I knew a being once, his peaked head
With a few lank and greasy hairs was spread;
His visage blue, in length was like your own
Seen in the convex of a table-spoon.
His mouth, or rather gash athwart his face,
To stop at either ear had just the grace,
A hideous rift: his teeth were all canine,
And just like Death's (in Milton) was his grin.
One shilling, and one fourteen-penny leg,
(This shorter was than that, and not so big),
He had; and they, when meeting at his knees,
An angle formed of ninety-eight degrees.
Nature, in scheming how his back to vary,
A hint had taken from the dromedary:
His eyes an inward, screwing vision threw,
Striving each other through his nose to view.

His intellect was just one ray above
The idiot Cymon's ere he fell in love.<...

Thomas Gent

Beards

There was an old man with a beard,
Who said, "It is just as I feared! -
    Two owls and a hen,
    Four larks and a wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard."

Unknown

Epigram On Hearing A Lady Talk Very Fast And Unintelligibly

Words upon words impetuous rush along,
And tread each other's brains out as they throng.

    *        *        *        *        *

'Admire my wife! did ever mortal eyes'
Cornuto, in a rapture, boasting cries
'Such a fine set of teeth of ivory view?
And such a fine complexion's ivory hue?
Fool! hide thy head! both her and thee we scorn:
Oft the wife's ivory makes the husband's horn.

    *        *        *        *        *

I'm told Sir Pigmy mimics me; what then?
Don't we all know that monkies mimic men?
'I cannot say your poem I admire;
It wants originality and fire;
Besides, I find it, by no means, correct;
You've written it in haste, I should suspect,'
"What! do you think me then a jackass, pray?"
'I shall think so if you so lou...

Thomas Oldham

The Logicians Refuted

In Imitation Of Dean Swift

Logicians have but ill defin'd
As rational, the human kind;
Reason, they say, belongs to man,
But let them prove it if they can.
Wise Aristotle and Smiglecius,
By ratiocinations specious,
Have strove to prove with great precision,
With definition and division,
'Homo est ratione praeditum',
But for my soul I cannot credit 'em;
And must in spite of them maintain,
That man and all his ways are vain;
And that this boasted lord of nature
Is both a weak and erring creature;
That instinct is a surer guide
Than reason-boasting mortals' pride;
And that brute beasts are far before 'em,
'Deus est anima brutorum'.
Who ever knew an honest brute
At law his neighbour prosecute,
Bring action for assault and battery,

Oliver Goldsmith