On Circuit.

Two neighbours, fighting for a yard of land;
Two witnesses, who lie on either hand;
Two lawyers, issuing many writs and pleas;
Two clerks, in a dark passage counting fees;
Two counsel, calling one another names;
Two courts, where lawyers play their little games;
Two weeks at Leeds, which wear the soul away;
Two judges getting limper every day;
Two bailiffs of the court with aspect sour--
So runs the round of life from hour to hour.

Horace Smith

Horace Smith was an English poet and novelist, known for his collaboration with his brother James Smith in writing parodies. The brothers published 'Rejected Addresses' in 1812, which humorously imitated contemporary poets and became highly popular. Horace was also a friend of Percy Bysshe Shelley and wrote various works, including novels that reflect his interest in social issues and history. His writing often combined wit with a keen social conscience.

Horace Smith

Lullaby.

Horace Smith, Simple Poetry

An Olde Lyric.

Horace Smith, Simple Poetry

The Curate To His Slippers.

Horace Smith, Simple Poetry

Prothalamion.

Horace Smith, Simple Poetry

English

Suggested Poems

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Helter Skelter; Or, The Hue And Cry After The Attorneys

UPON THEIR RIDING THE CIRCUIT


Now the active young attorneys
Briskly travel on their journeys,
Looking big as any giants,
On the horses of their clients;
Like so many little Marses
With their tilters at their a - s,
Brazen-hilted, lately burnish'd,
And with harness-buckles furnish'd,
And with whips and spurs so neat,
And with jockey-coats complete,
And with boots so very greasy,
And with saddles eke so easy,
And with bridles fine and gay,
Bridles borrow'd for a day,
Bridles destined far to roam,
Ah! never, never to come home.
And with hats so very big, sir,
And with powder'd caps and wigs, sir,
And with ruffles to be shown,
Cambric ruffles not their own;
And with Holland shirts so white,
Shirts becoming to the sight,

Jonathan Swift

Somewhere

    Somewhere in a distant star,
    Cities of Cocaigne there are,
    Paradises of the Bar.

    Somewhere 'neath another sun
    Counsel cease to see the fun
    Lurking in a judge's pun.

    Somewhere courts are fair to see,
    Beauty joins utility,
    Ushers answer courteously.

    Somewhere there are bailiwicks
    Which for dock defences fix
    Nothing under three-five-six.

    Somewhere rises struggle sore
    For revisorships no more,
    Every shire has half a score.

    Somewhere educated thought
    Scientifically taught
    Cross-examines as it ought.

    Somewhere judgments are obeyed,
    Executions are not stayed,
    Fees are almost always paid.

    Somewhere County Councils p...

James Williams

An Attempt To Remember The "Grandmother's Apology."

(WITH MANY APOLOGIES TO THE LAUREATE.)

And Willie, my eldest born, is gone, you say, little Anne,
Ruddy and white, and strong on his legs, he looks like a man;
He was only fourscore years, quite young, when he died;
I ought to have gone before, but must wait for time and tide.

So Harry's wife has written; she was always an awful fool,
And Charlie was always drunk, which made our families cool;
For Willie was walking with Jenny when the moon came up the dale,
And whit, whit, whit, in the bush beside me chirrupt the nightingale.

Jenny I know had tripped, and she knew that I knew of it well.
She began to slander me.    I knew, but I wouldn't tell!
And she to be slandering me, the impertinent, base little liar;
But the tongue is a fire, as you know, my dear, the ton...

Horace Smith

The Answer. By Dr. Swift

Lindsay mistakes the matter quite,
And honest Paulus judges right.
Then, why these quarrels to the sun,
Without whose aid you're all undone?
Did Paulus e'er complain of sweat?
Did Paulus e'er the sun forget;
The influence of whose golden beams
Soon licks up all unsavoury steams?
The sun, you say, his face has kiss'd:
It has; but then it greased his fist.
True lawyers, for the wisest ends,
Have always been Apollo's friends.
Not for his superficial powers
Of ripening fruits, and gilding flowers;
Not for inspiring poets' brains
With penniless and starveling strains;
Not for his boasted healing art;
Not for his skill to shoot the dart;
Nor yet because he sweetly fiddles;
Nor for his prophecies in riddles:
But for a more substantial cause -

Jonathan Swift

The Country Justice

TWO lawyers to their cause so well adhered,
A country justice quite confused appeared,
By them the facts were rendered so obscure
With which the truth remained he was not sure.
At length, completely tired, two straws he sought
Of diff'rent lengths, and to the parties brought.
These in his hand he held: - the plaintiff drew
(So fate decreed) the shortest of the two.
On this the other homeward took his way,
To boast how nicely he had gained the day.

THE bench complained: the magistrate replied
Don't blame I pray - 'tis nothing new I've tried;
Courts often judge at hazard in the law,
Without deciding by the longest straw.

Jean de La Fontaine

A Vision of Legal Shadows

    A case at chambers left for my opinion
        Had taxed my brain until the noon of night,
    I read old law, and loathed the long dominion
                                    Of fiction over right.

    I had consulted Coke and Cruise and Chitty,
        The works where ancient learning reigns supreme,
    Until exhausted nature, moved with pity,
                                    Sent me a bookman's dream.

    Six figures, all gigantic as Gargantua,
        Floated before my eyes, and all the six
    Were shades like those that once the bard of Mantua
                                    Saw by the shore of Styx.

    The first was one with countenance imperious,
        His toga dim with centuries of dust;
    "My name," quoth he, "is Aulus and A...

James Williams