Somewhere

    Somewhere in a distant star,
    Cities of Cocaigne there are,
    Paradises of the Bar.

    Somewhere 'neath another sun
    Counsel cease to see the fun
    Lurking in a judge's pun.

    Somewhere courts are fair to see,
    Beauty joins utility,
    Ushers answer courteously.

    Somewhere there are bailiwicks
    Which for dock defences fix
    Nothing under three-five-six.

    Somewhere rises struggle sore
    For revisorships no more,
    Every shire has half a score.

    Somewhere educated thought
    Scientifically taught
    Cross-examines as it ought.

    Somewhere judgments are obeyed,
    Executions are not stayed,
    Fees are almost always paid.

    Somewhere County Councils press
    Banquets on the circuit mess,
    Fleshpots in the wilderness.

    Somewhere at Assizes grow
    Prosecutions row on row,
    Every man has six or so.

    Somewhere, eager but for right,
    Court and counsel cease to cite
    Pointless cases recondite.

    Somewhere headnotes give the ground
    Whereupon the judges found
    Judgments generally sound.

    Somewhere juries use their sense,
    Basing on the evidence
    Verdicts of intelligence.

    Somewhere rich embroideries
    Woven cunningly of lies
    Part in twain at truth's clear eyes.

    Somewhere justice grows from wrong,
    Till the right that suffered long
    Sings at last its triumph song.

    Somewhere--even in a place
    Peopled by a perfect race--
    One side holds a losing case.

    Somewhere since the world began
    Heaven hath made an honest man,
    Somewhere in Aldebaran.