Puns

A father once said to his son,
"The next time you make up a pun,
    Go out in the yard
    And kick yourself hard,
And I will begin when you've done."

Unknown

The identity of this poet is not known. Their works, which are often of significant historical or cultural value, have been attributed to 'Unknown'. This designation is commonly used when the creator of works, ranging from ancient texts to more modern writings, remains anonymous or uncredited. Despite the lack of personal details, the impact and importance of these works endure, offering insight into the eras and cultures from which they originated.

Unknown

Nursery Rhyme. V. Historical

Unknown , Simple Poetry

Mistaken Identity

Unknown , Simple Poetry

Nursery Rhyme. CCCCXVII. Jingles.

Unknown , Simple Poetry

Nursery Rhyme. CXXVIII. Scholastic.

Unknown , Simple Poetry

English

Suggested Poems

Explore a curated selection of verses that share themes, styles, and emotional resonance with the poem you've just read.

Nursery Rhyme. CCCLXIV. Paradoxes.

    There was a man of Newington,
        And he was wond'rous wise,
    He jump'd into a quickset hedge,
        And scratch'd out both his eyes:
    But when he saw his eyes were out,
        With all his might and main,
    He jump'd into another hedge,
        And scratch'd 'em in again.

Unknown

Anecdote For Fathers.

Designed to show that the practice of lying is not confined to children.

By the late W. W. (of H.M. Inland Revenue Service).

And is it so?    Can Folly stalk
And aim her unrespecting darts
In shades where grave Professors walk
    And Bachelors of Arts?

I have a boy, not six years old,
A sprite of birth and lineage high:
His birth I did myself behold,
    His caste is in his eye.

And oh! his limbs are full of grace,
His boyish beauty past compare:
His mother's joy to wash his face,
    And mine to brush his hair!

One morn we strolled on our short walk,
With four goloshes on our shoes,
And held the customary talk
    That parents love to use.

(And oft I turn it into verse,
And write it down upon a page,
Wh...

Arthur Thomas Quiller-Couch

His Sense Of Humor

Perhaps in some respects it's true
That you resemble dad;
To be informed I look like you
Would never make me mad.
But one thing I am sure of, son,
You have a different line
Of humor, your idea of fun
Is not a bit like mine.

You drop my slippers in the sink
And leave them there to soak.
That's very laughable, you think
But I can't see the joke
You take my hat outdoors with you
And fill it full of earth;
You seem to think that's witty, too,
But I'm not moved to mirth.

You open up the chicken-yard;
Its inmates run a mile;
You giggle, but I find it hard
To force one-half a smile.
No, kid, I fear your funny stuff,
Though funny it may be,
Is not quite delicate enough
To make a hit with me.

Ringgold Wilmer Lardner

Nursery Rhyme. CCCLXXIX. Paradoxes.

    If a man who turnips cries
    Cries not when his father dies,
    It is a proof that he would rather
    Have a turnip than his father.

Unknown

The Family Fool.

Oh! a private buffoon is a light-hearted loon,
If you listen to popular rumor;
From morning to night he's so joyous and bright,
And he bubbles with wit and good-humor!
He's so quaint and so terse, both in prose and in verse;
Yet though people forgive his transgression,
There are one or two rules that all Family Fools
Must observe, if they love their profession.
There are one or two rules
Half a dozen, maybe,
That all family fools,
Of whatever degree,
Must observe, if they love their profession.

If you wish to succeed as a jester, you'll need
To consider each person auricular:
What is all right for B would quite scandalize C
(For C is so very particular);
And D may be dull, and E's very thick skull
Is as empty of brains as a ladle;
While F ...

William Schwenck Gilbert

Risus Dei

Methinks in Him there dwells alway
A sea of laughter very deep,
Where the leviathans leap,
And little children play,
Their white feet twinkling on its crisped edge;
But in the outer bay
The strong man drives the wedge
Of polished limbs,
And swims.
Yet there is one will say:
'It is but shallow, neither is it broad'
And so he frowns; but is he nearer God?

One saith that God is in the note of bird,
And piping wind, and brook,
And all the joyful things that speak no word:
Then if from sunny nook
Or shade a fair child's laugh
Is heard,
Is not God half?
And if a strong man gird
His loins for laughter, stirred
By trick of ape or calf,
Is he no better than a cawing rook?

Nay 'tis a Godlike function; laugh thy fill!
M...

Thomas Edward Brown