Recipe For A Policeman:

To a quart of boiling temper add a pint of Irish stew
    Together with cracked nuts, long beats and slugs;
Serve hot with mangled citizens who ask the time of day -
    The receipt is much the same for making thugs.

    - Life.

Unknown

The identity of this poet is not known. Their works, which are often of significant historical or cultural value, have been attributed to 'Unknown'. This designation is commonly used when the creator of works, ranging from ancient texts to more modern writings, remains anonymous or uncredited. Despite the lack of personal details, the impact and importance of these works endure, offering insight into the eras and cultures from which they originated.

Unknown

Nursery Rhyme. CCCCXIV. Jingles.

Unknown , Simple Poetry

Nursery Rhyme. CCCXCII. Lullabies.

Unknown , Simple Poetry

Nursery Rhyme. CCCCVIII. Jingles.

Unknown , Simple Poetry

Nursery Rhyme. CCCLXX. Paradoxes.

Unknown , Simple Poetry

English

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Policeman's Scrape (Prose)

Tawkin abaat policemen reminds me ov a mess one on 'em gate into a while sin. Aw shalln't tell awther his name or his number, becoss it's net my wish to get ony body into trouble. It's enuff for me to say he's a gooid-lukkin chap, an' if he isn't wed his wife is. He wor on neet duty, an' at one o' th' haases he had to pass, lived a fine buxom sarvent. Policemen have allus been nooated for havin a fancy for sarvents, an' this wor like th' rest, an' befoor long they grew soa friendly 'at shoo used to invite him in after th' maister an' th' mistress had gooan to bed. One neet he'd crept in, an' they wor whisperin varry lovinly together, when shoo tell'd him ther wor noa cold mait o' ony sooart. "Awm glad on it," he sed, "for awm stoled o' cold stuff. That luks a bit o' nice bacon at's hung up, does ta think tha could do me a bit anent th' fi...

John Hartley

Recipe For A Waiter:

Stuff a hired dress-suit case with an effort to please,
    Add a half-dozen stumbles and trips;
Remove his right thumb from the cranberry sauce,
    Roll in crumbs, melted butter and tips.

    - Life.

Unknown

Recipe For A Parson:

To a cupful of negative goodness
    Add the pleasure of giving advice.
Sift in a peck of dry sermons,
    And flavor with brimstone or ice.

    - Life.

Unknown

Recipe for an actor:

To one slice of ham add assortment of roles.
    Steep the head in mash notes till it swells,
Garnish with onions, tomatoes and beets,
    Or with eggs - from afar - in the shells.

    - Life.

Unknown

The Three P's. - The Pratie, The Pig And Poteen.

'Tis daily this baste
Will prosade to the fayste,
The best that Ould Oireland has seen;
The P's are but three,
But they're plenty for me, -
The Pratie, the Pig, the Poteen.

The Pratie, in place,
Has an iligant face,
That my mouth opens wide to let in,
But, like Widow Machree,
He's so glad to see me,
That he laughs himself out of his shkin.
He's so round and so square,
As he laughs at me there,
That he looks loike my brother, I ween;
Then I put him to cool
On the top of a shtool,
Till I take a wee drop of Poteen.
Then I put him to cool
On the top of a shtool,
Till I take a wee drop of Poteen.

But gourmands, ahoy!
The Pig is the Boy!
Indade he's the girl to my taste;
The form is so nate,
The lip is so swat...

A. H. Laidlaw

Things That Mortals Eat There.

And what do you eat in the mess there compounded?
For roast beef, the gravy the soap-man should claim--
The soup some odd things might turn up if sounded,
And other "made-dishes" might turn up the same.

Decoctions that puzzle your chemical skill,
You get if you call either coffee or tea;
And milk that is made with and tastes of the swill,
As like milk, as wine is that often we see
Is like to the juice of the grape in perfection,
Or like as the candidate after election
Is like the fair thing that we hoped or expected
Before the base thief was exposed or detected;
As like truth and virtue--and more is the pity--
The men we elected to rule our own city.

In "council" while sitting, though "common" we call them,
In common opinion, if people at large
Are...

Horatio Alger, Jr.