Speaking Of Operations

I know something wonderful, wonderful;
So strange it will quite startle you;
So strange and absurd and unusual
It seems it can hardly be true!

I know something wonderful, wonderful;
Youll hardly believe it can be
You know my appendix? Well, honest,
Ive still got it inside of me!

Ellis Parker Butler

Ellis Parker Butler was an American author, humorist, and poet, best known for his short story 'Pigs Is Pigs.' Born on December 5, 1869, in Muscatine, Iowa, Butler became a prolific writer, contributing to numerous magazines and books over his career. He is remembered for his wit and humor, which marked his work. Butler passed away on September 13, 1937.

Ellis Parker Butler

A Satisfactory Reform

Ellis Parker Butler, Simple Poetry

A Scotchman Whose Name Was Isbister

Ellis Parker Butler, Simple Poetry

Little Ballads Of Timely Warning; II: On Malicious Cruelty To Harmless Creatures

Ellis Parker Butler, Simple Poetry

The Twenty Hoss-Power Shay

Ellis Parker Butler, Simple Poetry

English

Suggested Poems

Explore a curated selection of verses that share themes, styles, and emotional resonance with the poem you've just read.

Reasonable Interest

I want to know how Bernard Shaw
Likes beefsteak, fairly done, or raw?
I want to know what kinds of shoes
M. Maeterlinck and Howells use.

I have great curiosity
Regarding George Ades new boot tree.
Has Carolyn Wells of late employed
Hairpins of wire or celluliod?

What kind of soap does London like?
Does Robert Chambers ever hike?
Or did he ever? Or, if not,
Does he like cabbage, cheese, or what?

I want to know the size of gloves
Oppenheim wears, and if he loves
Olives, and how his clothes are made.
What does he eat? How is he paid?

All sorts of things I want to learn,
That are not of the least concern
To any one. For, Oh! and Oh!
I want to know! I WANT TO KNOW!

I want to know, and know I will,
The printi...

Ellis Parker Butler

A Pastoral

Just as the sun was setting
Back of the Western hills
Grandfather stood by the window
Eating the last of his pills.

And Grandmother, by the cupboard,
Knitting, heard him say:
I ought to have went to the village
To fetch some more pills today.

Then Grandmother snuffled a teardrop
And said. It is jest like I suz
T th parsonGrandfathers liver
Aint what it used to was:

Its gittin torpid and dormant,
It dont function like of old,
And even them pills he swallers
Dont seem no more t catch hold;

They used to grab it and shake it
And joggle it up and down
And turn dear Grandfather yaller
Except when they turned him brown;

I remember when we was married
His liver was lively and gay,
A kickin an...

Ellis Parker Butler

Three At The Opera

Last night the house was crowded.    Were you there?
    You thought our box held only two, maybe -
Myself and chaperon, a matron fair.
    There was another whom you did not see.

Close, close beside me, sat a phantom form;
    Above the music and loud cheer on cheer
That rose, and thundered like a sudden storm,
    I heard his low voice whispering in my ear.

A dead man's voice.    You know when dead men speak
    There is no noise their least tone will not drown.
His sweet soft words brought blushes to my cheek,
    And made my happy eyelids flutter down.

There were so many glasses turned on me,
    My chaperon was proud.    She called me fair,
And said I drew their glances.    Well, may be.
    I think they saw that dead man sitting there...

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Womanly Qualms

When I go rowing on the lake,
I long to be a man;
Ill give my Sunday frock to have
A callous heart like Dan.

I love the ripple of the waves
When gliding oer the deep,
But when I see the cruel ours,
I close my eyes and weep;

For there are cat-fish in our lake,
And I am filled with dread,
Lest Don should strike a pussy-fish
Upon its tender head.

How would you like it if, some day
An air-ship passing by,
Should flap its cruel, thoughtless oars
And knock you in the eye?

My life would be one long regret
If, for my pleasure vain,
I caused a harmless little fish
An hour of needless pain.

And if Dans heavy oars should cause
One little fish to die,
Id never, never dare to look
Smoked herring in the ey...

Ellis Parker Butler

A Strange Wild Song

He thought he saw an Elephant
That practiced on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
A letter from his wife.
At length I realize, he said,
The bitterness of life!

He thought he saw a Buffalo
Upon the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found it was
His Sisters Husbands Niece.
Unless you leave this house, he said,
Ill send for the police!

he thought he saw a Rattlesnake
That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
The Middle of Next Week.
The one thing I regret, he said,
Is that it cannot speak!

He thought he saw a Bankers Clerk
Descending from the bus:
He looked again, and found it was
A Hippopotamus.
If this should stay to dine, he said,
There wont be much for us!...

Lewis Carroll

The Operation

In the sunlight doctors tear a woman apart.
Here the open red body gapes.    And heavy blood
Flows, dark wine, into a white bowl.    One sees
Very clearly the rose-red cyst.    Lead gray,
The limp head hangs down.    The hollow mouth
Rattles.    The sharp yellow chin points upward.
The room shines, cool and friendly.    A nurse
Savors quite a bit of sausage in the background.

Alfred Lichtenstein