Womanly Qualms

When I go rowing on the lake,
I long to be a man;
Ill give my Sunday frock to have
A callous heart like Dan.

I love the ripple of the waves
When gliding oer the deep,
But when I see the cruel ours,
I close my eyes and weep;

For there are cat-fish in our lake,
And I am filled with dread,
Lest Don should strike a pussy-fish
Upon its tender head.

How would you like it if, some day
An air-ship passing by,
Should flap its cruel, thoughtless oars
And knock you in the eye?

My life would be one long regret
If, for my pleasure vain,
I caused a harmless little fish
An hour of needless pain.

And if Dans heavy oars should cause
One little fish to die,
Id never, never dare to look
Smoked herring in the eye!

Ellis Parker Butler

Ellis Parker Butler was an American author, humorist, and poet, best known for his short story 'Pigs Is Pigs.' Born on December 5, 1869, in Muscatine, Iowa, Butler became a prolific writer, contributing to numerous magazines and books over his career. He is remembered for his wit and humor, which marked his work. Butler passed away on September 13, 1937.

Ellis Parker Butler

Golden Silence

Ellis Parker Butler, Simple Poetry

Why Washington Retreated

Ellis Parker Butler, Simple Poetry

The Wood Nymph

Ellis Parker Butler, Simple Poetry

The Romance Of Patrolman Casey

Ellis Parker Butler, Simple Poetry

English

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Mysterious Doings

As once I rambled in the woods
I chanced to spy amid the brake
A huntsman ride his way beside
A fair and passing tranquil lake;
Though velvet bucks sped here and there,
He let them scamper through the green--
Not one smote he, but lustily
He blew his horn--what could it mean?

As on I strolled beside that lake,
A pretty maid I chanced to see
Fishing away for finny prey,
Yet not a single one caught she;
All round her boat the fishes leapt
And gambolled to their hearts' content,
Yet never a thing did the maid but sing--
I wonder what on earth it meant.

As later yet I roamed my way,
A lovely steed neighed loud and long,
And an empty boat sped all afloat
Where sang a fishermaid her song;
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The Drunken Fisherman

Wallowing in this bloody sty,
I cast for fish that pleased my eye
(Truly Jehovah's bow suspends
No pots of gold to weight its ends);
Only the blood-mouthed rainbow trout
Rose to my bait. They flopped about
My canvas creel until the moth
Corrupted its unstable cloth.

A calendar to tell the day;
A handkerchief to wave away
The gnats; a couch unstuffed with storm
Pouching a bottle in one arm;
A whiskey bottle full of worms;
And bedroom slacks: are these fit terms
To mete the worm whose molten rage
Boils in the belly of old age?

Once fishing was a rabbit's foot,
O wind blow cold, O wind blow hot,
Let suns stay in or suns step out:
Life danced a jig on the sperm-whale's spout,
The fisher's fluent and obscene
Catches kept his con...

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Perch-Fishing

On the far hill the cloud of thunder grew
And sunlight blurred below; but sultry blue
Burned yet on the valley water where it hoards
Behind the miller's elmen floodgate boards,
And there the wasps, that lodge them ill-concealed
In the vole's empty house, still drove afield
To plunder touchwood from old crippled trees
And build their young ones their hutched nurseries;
Still creaked the grasshoppers' rasping unison
Nor had the whisper through the tansies run
Nor weather-wisest bird gone home.
                How then
Should wry eels in the pebbled shallows ken
Lightning coming? troubled up they stole
To the deep-shadowed sullen water-hole,
Among whose warty snags the quaint perch lair.
As cunning stole the boy to angle there,
Muffling least tread, with no ...

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Farmer Stebbins At Ocean Grove.

OCEAN GROVE, June 30, 18 - .

DEAR COUSIN JOHN:

    We got here safe - my worthy wife and me -
    And took a tent here in the woods contigious to the sea;
    We've harvested such means of grace as growed within our reach -
    We've been to several meetings here, and heard the Bishop preach;
    And everything went easy like until we took a whim -
    My wife and I - one breezy day, to take an ocean swim.

    We shouldn't have ventured on't, I think, if Sister Sunnyhopes
    Hadn't urged us over and again, and said she knew "the ropes,"
    And told how soothing it would be "in ocean rills to lave,"
    And "sport within the bounding surf," and "ride the crested wave;"
    And so we went along with her - my timid wife and me -
    Two inland noodles...

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The Tearful Tale Of Captain Dan

A sinner was old Captain Dan;
His wives guv him no rest:
He had one wife to East Skiddaw
And one to Skiddaw West.

Now Ann Eliza was the name
Of her at East Skiddaw;
She was the most cantankerous
Female you ever saw.

I dont know but one crosser-grained,
And of this Captain Dan
She was the wife at Skiddaw West,
She was Eliza Ann.

Well, this old skeesicks, Captain Dan,
He owned a ferryboat;
From East Skiddaw to Skiddaw West
That vessel used to float.

She was as trim a ferry-craft
As ever I did see,
And on each end a pinted bow
And pilothouse had she.

She had two bows that way, so when
She went acrost the sound
She could, to oncet, run back agin
Without a-turnin round.

Now Captain Dan ...

Ellis Parker Butler

The Fisherman.

The waters rush'd, the waters rose,

A fisherman sat by,
While on his line in calm repose

He cast his patient eye.
And as he sat, and hearken'd there,

The flood was cleft in twain,
And, lo! a dripping mermaid fair

Sprang from the troubled main.

She sang to him, and spake the while:

"Why lurest thou my brood,
With human wit and human guile

From out their native flood?
Oh, couldst thou know how gladly dart

The fish across the sea,
Thou wouldst descend, e'en as thou art,

And truly happy be!

"Do not the sun and moon with grace

Their forms in ocean lave?
Shines not with twofold charms their face,

When rising from the wave?
The deep, deep heavens, then lure thee not,

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe