The Spinning-House of the Future

    "Cada puta hile."--Don Quixote, i. 46.


    Without my dinner here I lie,
                And all because that proctor
    With her stout bull-dogs passed, and I
                                        Mocked her.

    For Clara is at Girton too,
                That dragon is her tutor,
    I threatened once what I would do,
                                        Shoot her.

    Her life by Clara's tears was saved,
                Wherefore she doth detest me,
    And hither hungry and unshaved
                                        Pressed me.

    I would that I could have commenced
                An action 'gainst that devil,
    Like that once brought by Kemp against
                                        Neville.[H]

    To her I owe the statute framed
                That one against it sinning
    Should dwell within the house that's named
                                        Spinning.

    Ah me! it runs in sections three:
                Who speaks to Girton student
    Is fined to teach him how to be
                                        Prudent.

    Who loves a Girton girl must do
                Twelve months on bread and water,
    From a digestive point of view
                                        Slaughter.

    Who kisses her commits a crime
                By hanging expiated,
    And she in tears must spend her time
                                        Gated.

    Would that at Oxford I had been,
                At Balliol or at Merton,
    And then I never should have seen
                                        Girton.

    Go down I must, no more shall I
                And Clara cross the same bridge;
    Still, Granta, art thou her and my
                                        Cambridge.

    Some day on this her eyes may light,
                This doggerel stiff and jointless,
    And she may own it is not quite
                                        Pointless.