The Two Monkeys.

        The scholar, of his learning vain,
        Beholds the fop with deep disdain:
        The fop, with spirit as discerning,
        Looks down upon the man of learning.
        The Spanish Don - a solemn strutter -
        Despises Gallic airs and flutter:
        Whilst the Gaul ridicules the Don,
        And John Bull looks with like disdain
        On manners both of France and Spain:
        They hold, indeed, a deed tripartite
        To see each other in a tart light.
        'Tis thus the bard is scorned by those
        Who only deal in learned prose:
        Whilst bards of quick imagination
        Are hipped by the dull prose oration.
        Men scoff at apes: apes scoff at them;
        And all - except themselves - contemn.

        Two monkeys visited the fair,
        Like critics, with Parnassian sneer;
        They forced a way through draggled folk,
        Laughed at Jack Pudding and his joke,
        Then bought their tickets for the show,
        And squatted in the foremost row;
        Their cut-of-jib was there so stunning,
        It set the idle rabble funning.

        "Brother," one Pug to other said,
        "The mob is certainly ill-bred."
        A sentiment which found no favour,
        And the retorts were of ill-savour.

        The clown with entrance stopped the jar -
        Head over heels - with "Here we are!"
        The tumblers made their somersets,
        The vaulters made tremendous jets;
        The dancer on the rope did wonders,
        And drew down the applauses - thunders,
        As Numa once elicited
        From Jove Elicius, so they did.

        "Behold the imitative crew!"
        Said Pug: "they copy me and you,
        And clumsily. I'd like to see
        Them jump from forest-tree to tree;
        I'd like to see them, on a twig,
        Perform a slip-slap or a rig;
        And yet it pleasant is to know
        The boobies estimate us so."

        "Brother!" the other Pug replied,
        "They do their best - with us their guide;
        We must allow praise is their due,
        Whilst they example good pursue;
        But when I see them take a flight,
        Or walk, like they walk - bolt upright,
        Because we sometimes walk on two -
        I hate the imitative crew!"