A Legend Of St. Valentine.

        Come! Why, halloa, that you, Jack?
            How's the world been using you?
        Want your pipe? it's in the jar
            Think I might be looking blue.
        Maud's been breaking off with me,
            Fact see here I've got the ring.
        That's the note she sent it in;
            Read it soothing sort of thing.
        Jack, you know I write sometimes
            Must have read some things of mine.
        Well, I thought I'd just send Maud
            Something for a valentine.
        So I ground some verses out
            In the softest kind of style,
        Full of love, and that, you know
            Bothered me an awful while;
        Quite a heavy piece of work.
            So when I had got them done
        Why, I thought them much too good
            Just to waste that way on one.
        Jack, I told you, didn't I,
            All about that black-eyed girl
        Up in Stratford last July
            Oh! you know; you saw her curl?
        Well, old fellow, she's the one
            That this row is all about,
        For I sent her who'd have thought
            Maud would ever find it out
        Those same verses, word for word
            Hang it, man! you needn't roar
        "Splendid joke!" well, so I thought
            No, don't think so any more.
        Yesterday, you know it rained,
            I'd been up late at a ball
        Didn't know what else to do
            Went up and made Maud a call,
        Found some other girl there, too,
            They were playing a duet.
        "Fred, my cousin, Nelly Deane,"
            Yes, Jack, there was my brunette;
        You should just have seen me, Jack
            Now, old fellow, please don't laugh,
        I feel bad about it fact
            And I really can't stand chaff.
        Well, I tried to talk to Maud,
            There was Nell, though, sitting by;
        Every now and then she'd laugh,
            Sure I can't imagine why.
        Maud would read that beastly poem,
            Nell's eyes said in just one glance,
        "Wont I make you pay for this,
            If I ever get the chance!"
        Some one came and rang the bell,
            Just a note for Nell, by post.
        Jack, I saw my monogram
            I'd have rather seen a ghost.
        Yes her verses I suppose
            That her folks had sent them down
        Couldn't get up there, you know
            Till she'd left and come to town.
        Nelly looked them quickly through
            Laughed by Jove, I thought she'd choke.
        "Maud he'll kill me dear! oh, dear!
            Read that; isn't it a joke?"
        Maud glanced through them sank right down
            On the sofa hid her face
        "Crying!" not much laughing, Jack
            Don't think she's a hopeless case.
        I just grabbed my hat and left
            Only wish I'd gone before.
        How they laughed! I heard them, Jack
            Till I got outside the door.
        There, confession's done me good,
            I can never win her back,
        So I'll calmly let her slide
            Pass the ash-cup, will you, Jack.