Recipe For A Telephone Operator:

To fearful and wonderful rolling of "r's,"
    And a voice cold as thirty below,
Add a dash of red pepper, some ginger and sass
    If you leave out the "o" in "hello"!

Unknown

The identity of this poet is not known. Their works, which are often of significant historical or cultural value, have been attributed to 'Unknown'. This designation is commonly used when the creator of works, ranging from ancient texts to more modern writings, remains anonymous or uncredited. Despite the lack of personal details, the impact and importance of these works endure, offering insight into the eras and cultures from which they originated.

Unknown

Nursery Rhyme. XVII. Historical

Unknown , Simple Poetry

Nursery Rhyme. CCCCXXXVI. Jingles.

Unknown , Simple Poetry

Nursery Rhyme. CCCCLIII. Love And Matrimony.

Unknown , Simple Poetry

Nursery Rhyme. CLXVII. Songs.

Unknown , Simple Poetry

English

Suggested Poems

Explore a curated selection of verses that share themes, styles, and emotional resonance with the poem you've just read.

At The Telephone.

Ting-ling--"South, please, 1085;
    Why hello, Jim--Oh, Saints alive!
It's south, I told you--hello; no,
    I said once that I could not go.

"Say, can you meet me there tonight?
    Confound it, Jim, you must be tight.
What are you saying anyhow,
    I've got the wrong ear by the sow?

"Not pretty? Why, she's out o'sight,
    Oh, shut up; that will be all right.
You can't walk there? Why it ain't far;
    We get there on a 'lectric car.

"Well, Great Scott, man, don't talk all day,
    But let me know now right away.
Miss B----, Oh, let the old girl wait;
    We won't be out so very late.

"You will? All right then--eight o'clock;
    Be sure and meet me on the block,
Remember now, don't get it wrong;
    All right, old ma...

Edwin C. Ranck

Recipe For A Waiter:

Stuff a hired dress-suit case with an effort to please,
    Add a half-dozen stumbles and trips;
Remove his right thumb from the cranberry sauce,
    Roll in crumbs, melted butter and tips.

    - Life.

Unknown

On A Deaf Housekeeper

Of all life's plagues I recommend to no man
To hire as a domestic a deaf woman.
I've got one who my orders does not hear,
Mishears them rather, and keeps blundering near.
Thirsty and hot, I asked her for a drink;
She bustled out, and brought me back some ink.
Eating a good rump-steak, I called for mustard;
Away she went, and whipped me up a custard.
I wanted with my chicken to have ham;
Blundering once more, she brought a pot of jam.
I wished in season for a cut of salmon;
And what she brought me was a huge fat gammon.
I can't my voice raise higher and still higher,
As if I were a herald or town-crier.
'T would better be if she were deaf outright;
But anyhow she quits my house this night.

Unknown

Recipe for an actor:

To one slice of ham add assortment of roles.
    Steep the head in mash notes till it swells,
Garnish with onions, tomatoes and beets,
    Or with eggs - from afar - in the shells.

    - Life.

Unknown

Recipe For A Policeman:

To a quart of boiling temper add a pint of Irish stew
    Together with cracked nuts, long beats and slugs;
Serve hot with mangled citizens who ask the time of day -
    The receipt is much the same for making thugs.

    - Life.

Unknown

Nursery Rhyme. CCXVIII. Riddles.

    Pease-porridge hot, pease-porridge cold,
    Pease-porridge in the pot, nine days old.
    Spell me that without a P,
    And a clever scholar you will be.

Unknown