William F. Kirk

William F. Kirk was an American poet and writer, known for his humorous and satirical works. His poetry often reflected the everyday lives and struggles of ordinary people, presented in a light-hearted yet insightful manner. Kirk also wrote prose, contributing to various newspapers and magazines. His works were widely appreciated for their wit and relatability, making him a popular figure in early 20th-century American literature.

English

William F. Kirk

Page 1 of 2

A Good Fellow

Dey tal me ay ban a gude faller.
Ay guess dey ban right; but, yee whiz!
Ef yu ever ban a gude faller,
Yu know 'bout how costly it is.
Ay vork op in voods since Nowember,
And ban op on drive all the spring,
And den ay com down har in city
And vatch all my riches tak ving.

Oh, yes, ay ban yolly gude faller, -
All venter ay eat pork and beans;
Ay only ban har since last Monday,
Now ay ant got cent in my yeans.
Dese geezers dat call me "Old Stocking,"
And pat me lak hal on the back,
Skol give me gude snub 'bout to-morrow,
And calling me "slob lumberyack!"

Ay meet bunch of fallers last Monday,
Yust after ay cashing my check;
Ay s'pose dat ay have it all coming.
Val, ay getting it gude, right in neck.
Ay meet little blonde, her name's...

William F. Kirk

A Psalm Of Life

Tal me not, yu knocking fallers,
Life ban only empty dream;
Dar ban planty fun, ay tal yu,
Ef yu try Yohn Yohnson's scheme.
Yohn ban yust a section foreman,
Vorking hard vay up on Soo;
He ban yust so glad in morning
As ven all his vork ban tru.

"Vork," say Yohn, "ban vat yu mak it.
Ef yu tenk yure vork ban hard,
Yu skol having planty headaches, -
Yes, yu bet yure life, old pard;
But ay alvays yerk my coat off,
Grab my shovel and my pick,
And dis yob ant seem lak hard von
Ef ay du it purty qvick."

Yohn ban foreman over fallers.
He ant have to vork, yu see;
But, yu bet, he ant no loafer,
And he yust digs in, by yee!
"Listen, Olaf," he skol tal me,
"Making living ant no trick.
And the hardest yob ban easy
Ef yu only ...

William F. Kirk

Abou Swen Anson

Abou Swen Anson (he ban yolly dog)
Ban asleep von night so sound lak log,
Ven all at vonce he tenk it sure ban day.
"Ay skol vake op now," Maester Anson say.
But, ven he vake, it ant ban day at all,
He see a gude big light right close to vall,
And dar ban anyel faller vith stub pen.
"Gude morning, maester anyel man," say Swen.
"Ay s'pose," he tal the anyel, "yu ban har
To pay me wisit. Skol yu have cigar?"
The anyel shake his head, and Abou Swen
Ask him: "Val, Maester, vy yu com har den?
Vat skol yu write in dis har book of gold?"
The anyel say, "All fallers, young and old,
Who go to church and prayer-meeting, tu;
But ay ant got a place in har for yu."
"Ay s'pose," say Abou, "yu got noder book
For common lumberyacks vich never took
Flyer at church or...

William F. Kirk

Annie Laurie

Minneapolis ban qvite bonny
Ven early fall the dew;
It ban dar dat ay ask Steena
To mak her promise true, -
To mak her promise true;
But she yust pass me by;
And she tal me, "Maester Olaf,
Yu skol pleese lay down and die."

Her brow ban yust lak snowdrift
Or Apple Blossom flour;
And she smile lak anyel fallers,
Ay tenk of her each hour, -
Ay tenk of her each hour,
And feel lak ay can cry,
Ven she tal me, "Maester Olaf,
Yu skol pleese lay down and die."

Like dew on sidevalk falling,
She du me gude, ay guess.
Ay tal her, "Pleese, Miss Steena,
Vy don't yu answer yes? -
Vy don't yu answer yes?"
But she yust venk her eye,
And she tal me, "Maester Olaf,
Yu skol pleese lay down and die."

William F. Kirk

Barbara Frietchie

Barbara Frietchie ban brave old hen,
Her age it ban tree score and ten.
She living in Frederick, Maryland, -
It ban yust a dinky von night stand.
But Barbara rise to fame, yu bet,
And folks ban talking about her yet.
Ef yu lak to know yust how dis ban,
Ay skol tal yu story the best ay can.

Op the street com Yen-ral Yackson,
Ay bet yu he ban a gude attraction;
For all dese Reubs skol rubber lak hal,
And some of dem calling the yen'ral "pal."
Yackson, he see dem on both sides
Shooting dis bunk to save deir hides.
Den op in vindow he see big flag,
And tenk at first he must have a yag.
No: sure enuff, it ban Union Yack.
So Stonevall stand on his horse's back,
Yell at his men. Dey shoot, von and all,
And into the gutter flag skol fall.

William F. Kirk

Curfew Shall Not Ring To-Night

England's sun ban slowly setting on big hilltops far avay;
Dis bar sun ban tired of standing, so it lak to set, yu say;
And yust ven dis sun ban setting, it shine hard on Yosephine;
She ban talking to the sexton, and ban feeling purty mean.
"Now," she tal him, "yust be careful,... ay skol fix it op all right;
Yust one teng ay lak to tal yu, Curfew skol not reng to-night!"

Val, the sun yust keep on setting, and the sexton start for bell.
"Vait a minute!" Yosie tal him; sexton answer, "Vat to 'ell?"
"Val," she say, "ay having sveetheart who ban over har in yail,
Ay ban vorking hard for money, nuff so ay can pay his bail;
But it ant no use to du it, and dis har old yudge skol write
That he dies ven bell start going. Curfew skol not reng to-night!"

Den, yu say, dis maeste...

William F. Kirk

Excelsior

The shades of night ban falling fast,
Ven tru Dakota willage passed
Young faller who skol carry flag
And yell, so loud sum he can brag,
    "Excelsior!"

Ay ant know yust vat he skol mean,
But yust lak dis har talk machine
He keep on saying, night and day
(Ay s'pose to passing time avay),
    "Excelsior!"

Swen Swenson tal me dis har guy
Ban crazy; den he tal me why.
He say dis faller once ban gay
And happy; den he never say
    "Excelsior!"

But after while, say Sven, he meet
A chorus girl who look quite sveet,
And marry her, and den find out
Vat making her so plump and stout -
    "Excelsior!"

So now poor faller have to go,
Lak lunatic, tru ice and snow.
He tenk about his old girl May,
And dis ban all v...

William F. Kirk

Father William

"Yu ban old, Fader Olaf," a young geezer
say, "yure hair it ban whiter sum snow;
Ay lak yu to tal me how yu keep so young.
By Yudas! Ay ant hardly know."

"Ven ay ban a young kid," Fader Olaf he
say, "ay never hang out in saloon;
Ay never ban smoking dese har cigarettes, or
sitting on sofa and spoon!"

"Yu ban slim, Fader Olaf," the young faller
say: "old fallers ban mostly dam fat.
Yu measure 'bout tventy-sax inches reund
vaist, vat for ban the reason of dat?"

"In the days of my youth," Fader Olaf
reply, "ay ant drenk no lager from cup;
Ay let all my frends fight dis bourbon and
rye, and alvays pass breakfast fude up!"

"Fader Olaf, yure eyes ban so bright sum a
star, yu ant vear no glasses at all;
Ay lak yu to tal me gude reaso...

William F. Kirk

George Washington

Yeorge Vashington ban honest man.
Ven dis har country first began,
Yeorge ban a yen'ral, and yu bet
Dese English fallers know it yet.
Ven he ban small, his fader say,
"Ef yu skol breng in vood to-day,
And feeding cow and chickens, tu,
Ay skol yust blow myself on yu."

Val, sure enuff, ven Yeorge du chore,
His fader hike for hardvare store,
And buy gude hatchet, only it
Ban second-hand a little bit.
Dar ban on edge some little dents,
It ban marked down to saxty cents.
He pay sax cents to sharpen axe,
And so it cost him saxty-sax.
He tak it home to Yeorgie, tu,
And say, "Ay ant ban fuling you."

Next day Yeorge tak dis hatchet out,
And start to rubber all about
For someteng he can chop, yu see,
And den he pipe nice cherry-tree....

William F. Kirk

Horatius At The Bridge

Horatius ban brave yentleman,
Who vatch big bridge at night:
It ban gude many years ago,
Ay ant got date yust right.
Dar ban some foxy geezers
Who march avay from home,
And tenk they having qvite gude chance
To raise some hal in Rome.

Lars Porsena ban starting it, -
Ay tenk Lars ban a Svede;
He raise 'bout tousand soldiers,
And put himself in lead.
Then he began tu marching,
And all his frends march, tu,
Till they skol come almost to Rome,
Var dey skol rest a few.

Then op spake Maester Horatius,
Captain of dis har gate:
"To every yackass on dis earth
Death coming sune or late.
So how can ay die better
Than vatching bridge, yu say?
Now who skol standing on my front
And vatching bridge vith me?"

Then Maes...

William F. Kirk

It's Up To You

Ay s'pose yu tenk life ban hard game.
Ay guess yu lak to qvit, perhaps.
Ay hear yu say, "It ban a shame
To see so many lucky chaps."
Yu say, "Dese guys ban mostly yaps:
Ay vish ay had some money, tu,
And not get all dese gude hard raps."
Val, Maester, it ban op to yu.

Sometimes ay s'pose yu vork long hours,
And ant get wery fancy pay;
Den yu can't buying stacks of flowers
And feed yure girl in gude café,
And drenk yin rickies and frappé.
Oh, yes! dis mak yu purty blue.
Yu lak to have more fun, yu say?
Val, Maester, it ban op to yu.

Dis vorld ant got much room to spare
For men vich make dis hard-luck cry, -
'Bout von square foot vile dey ban har,
And six feet after dey skol die.
Time "fugit," - high-school vord for "fly";
An...

William F. Kirk

Little Steena Yohnson

Ay ban tenking lots of yu,
Little Steena Yohnson,
Ay ban sure yu love me true,
Little Steena Yohnson.
Oder geezers lak to play
In yure yard, but yu skol say,
"Ay don't lak yu fallers, nay!"
Little Steena Yohnson.

Some day yu skol be my vife,
Little Steena Yohnson:
Ay ban glad, yu bet yure life,
Little Steena Yohnson.
Ay ban vork lak nigger, tu,
Yumping 'round vith treshing crew;
Ay skol building home for yu,
Little Steena Yohnson.

Maybe ve skol saving dough,
Little Steena Yohnson;
Back to Norvay ve skol go,
Little Steena Yohnson -
Back var dis har midnight sun
Shining lak a son of a gun;
Ant yu tenk dis har ban fun,
Little Steena Yohnson?

William F. Kirk

Lucy Gray

Ay s'pose yu know 'bout Lucy Gray
Who used to play on moor,
And having qvite gude time all day
Beside her fader's door.

Dis Maester Vordsvorth write it down,
Gude many years ago,
How Lucy start to valk to town
In gude big drifts of snow.

"Lucy," her fader say, "yust tak
Dis lantern from the shelf."
Say Lucy, "Ay have kick to mak;
Vy don't yu go yureself?"

But Lucy's dad ant stand no talk,
And say, "Yu have to go!"
So Lucy Gray tak little valk
To town in dis har snow.

Miss Lucy ant come back dat night,
And ant come back next day;
And den her parents get gude fright.
"Our kid ban lost!" dey say.

Dey look for tracks vich Lucy mak,
And find some tracks dat go
Up to a bridge on little lake,
And den ba...

William F. Kirk

Maud Muller

Maude Muller, on nice summer day,
Raked in meadows sveet vith hay.

Her eyes ban sharp lak gude sharp knife;
She ban nice girl, ay bet yure life.

Before she ban dar wery long,
She start to senging little song.

The Yudge come riding down big hill
In nice red yumping ottomobill.

Maude say, "Hello, Yudge, - how ban yu?"
The Yudge say, "Maudie, how y' du?"
He say: "Skol yu tak little ride?
Ef yu skol lak to, yump inside."

So Maude and Yudge ride 'bout sax miles,
And Yudge skol bask in Maude's sveet smiles.

The Yudge say, "Skol yu be my pal?"
Den ottomobill bust all to hal.

Den Maude ban valking 'bout half vay
Back to meadows sveet vith hay.

"Ay luv yu still, dear," say the Yudge,
But Maude she only say,...

William F. Kirk

Mortality

Vat for should dis spirit of mortal ban proud?
Man valk round a minute, and talk purty loud;
Den doctor ban coming, and say, "Ay can't save."
And man have to tak running yump into grave.

To-day dis har faller ban svelling around,
His head ban so light dat his feet ant touch ground.
To-morrow he light vith his face in the sand,
And hustle lak hal to get gude helping hand.

Ay see lots of fallers who tenk dey ban vise,
Yu see dem yureself ef yu open yure eyes;
Dey tal 'bout the gold dey skol making some day,
And yump ven the vash-voman com for her pay.

Ay tal yu, dear frend, purty sune we ban dead,
So ay tenk we ban suckers to getting svelled head.
It ant wery far from Prince Albert to shroud;
Vat for should dis spirit of mortal ban proud?

William F. Kirk

Olaf

Yust two years ago last venter
Ay meet Olaf op in camp;
Ve ban lumberyacks togedder.
Every morning we skol tramp
'Bout sax miles yust after breakfast
Till we come to big pine-trees;
Den our straw boss he skol make us
Vork lak little busy bees.

Olaf, he ban yolly faller,
He skol taling yoke all day;
Sometimes he sing dis har ragtime,
Yust to passing time avay.
And at night, ven we ban smoking
After supper, he skol make
All us lumberyacks to laughing
Till our belts skol nearly break.

Me and Olaf bunked together,
And sometimes he taling me
'Bout his vife and little Torger,
Who ban living cross big sea.
"Ay ban saving dough," say Olaf;
"And next summer, ef ay can,
Ay skol send for vife and baby;
Den ay ban a happy man...

William F. Kirk

Paul Revere

Listen, Christina, and yu skol hear
'Bout midnight ride of Paul Revere.
Seventeen hundred seventy-five,
Hardly a geezer ban now alive
Who live har ven Paul ban wolunteer.

Some British fallers ban getting gay,
So Paul yust giving his horse some hay
And say, "Ay skol mak a grand-stand play!"
Den he tal Yohn Brenk, - Yohn ban his frend
Who borrow venever Paul skol lend, -
"Yohn, yust go up har in old church tower,
And, yust so sune sum yu find out hour
British skol march, give me good yal,
And ay skol hustle and ride lak hal!"

So op in the church go old Yohn Brenk, -
It ban first time in his life, ay tenk;
And, ven dese English get busy, he yal,
And vave big lantern to his gude pal,
Maester Paul Revere, who yump on mare,
And off for Lex...

William F. Kirk

Peek-A-Boo

"Peek-a-boo!" say little Olaf.
"Yu can't find me. Ay ban hid."
Den ay used to look all over
For my little blue-eyed kid.
Op in attic, down in cellar,
Back of chairs on parlor floor;
Den he used to laugh, and tal me,
"Ay ban back of kitchen door."

"Peek-a-boo!" he used to tal me.
"Shut yure eyes, and don't you peek!"
Den ay feel his arms around me
And his kisses on my cheek.
"Now ay'm hiding, dad," he tal me!
"Maybe, ef you look some more,
Yu skol find yure little Olaf -
Ay ban back of kitchen door."

"Peek-a-boo!" ay hear him calling,
Lak he called long time ago.
Var ban little Olaf hiding?
Maybe anyel fallers know.
Tousand times ay look to find him
Hiding back of kitchen door,
But ay only see some shadows:
Ay can'...

William F. Kirk

Page 1 of 2