To Mr. Dan Leno

    (On his Appearance at Sandringham)

    Dear Mr. Dan Leno, -
    This has been a great week
    For Art -
    One of the biggest weeks in fact
    On record.
    For at the beginning of the week, my dear Mr. Leno,
    You were a mere popular entertainer,
    Whereas at the present moment
    You are a proud and 'appy man,
    And in a position to walk about the Strand
    With a diamond E
    Scintillating in your cravat.
    The thing that was anticipated
    By the intelligent paragraphists,
    My dear Mr. Leno,
    Has come to pass.
    His Britannic Majesty
    King Edward VII., D.G.: B. et T.T.B.R.: I.I.,
    Does intend to give artists and authors and people
    A little bit more of a show
    Than has hitherto fallen to their lot.
    His Majesty,
    My dear Mr. Leno,
    Has always been noted for his tact,
    And in opening the ball with you, as it were,
    His Majesty has exhibited an amount of tact
    Which leaves absolutely nothing to be desired.
    Had he commenced with Mr. Swinburne,
    Or myself,
    Or Mr. Hall Caine
    What howls there would have been!
    Whereas as it is
    Everybody is delighted,
    And the Halls resound nightly with his Majesty's praises.
    Furthermore,
    Besides being tactful,
    The King's choice of you,
    My dear Mr. Leno,
    For an invitation to Sandringham
    Has its basis in a profound common sense;
    For I am acquainted with nobody in the movement,
    My dear Mr. Leno,
    Who could have done the Sandringham turn
    With anything like the success which appears to have been yours.
    I gather from interviews
    That the King "laughed heartily" at your jokes,
    And that "it was a treat to see him enjoying himself."
    It is just here that Mr. Swinburne, myself, and Mr. Hall Caine
    Would have broken down.
    It seems to me unlikely
    That the King would have laughed
    At Mr. Swinburne's jokes;
    My own jokes, as everybody is aware,
    Are constructed on a principle
    Which entirely prohibits laughter;
    While, as for Mr. Hall Caine's jokes,
    They have such a tremendous sale
    That it is not good form to laugh at them.
    Mr. Leno, my boy,
    You have been the humble means
    Of doing us all
    A great kindness.
    Those jokes of yours
    Which have tickled Royal ears
    Will be nectar to me
    When next it is my pleasurable duty
    To sit under you;
    That hand which Royalty has shaken
    I shall grasp
    With an added fervour;
    That smile will cheer me all the more readily
    Because it has cheered
    My liege Lord and Sovereign;
    Those feet -    -
    But, after all, the great point
    Is the scarf pin.
    I suppose you would not care to lend it to me
    For a week or two
    While I have one made
    Like it?